The Uninspired Mind

You know that feeling when everything in your life is fine, but something still feels off? You know what you should be doing, but you just don’t feel like it. You’re not necessarily unhappy—you’re just not excited about anything.

Maybe you’ve got a craft room that’s packed full of supplies, but the motivation to create something just isn’t there. Maybe you’re in a season of transition, like leaving a job, and you’re unsure what’s next. Or perhaps, like one client I recently spoke with, life is going well, yet you still feel a strange lack of inspiration.

Feeling uninspired is more common than we realize, and it doesn’t mean something is wrong with you. It simply means your mind, body, and spirit are signaling for something new. The good news? Inspiration isn’t something we have to wait for—it’s something we can cultivate.

In this post, we’ll explore why we feel inspired, why we sometimes don’t, and—most importantly—how to reignite that spark when it feels like it’s gone missing.

What Inspires Us

Inspiration isn’t random—it’s a psychological and neurological process that lights up specific areas of the brain. When we feel inspired, we experience a surge of dopamine, the neurotransmitter associated with motivation, pleasure, and goal-directed behavior. This is why inspiration often brings a sense of excitement, clarity, and purpose.

The Science of Inspiration

Research in psychology suggests that inspiration has three key components:

1. Evocation – Inspiration is often sparked by something external—a conversation, a story, an experience, or even a simple shift in perspective.
2. Transcendence – We’re lifted beyond our current limitations, allowing us to see new possibilities and dream bigger.
3. Motivation to Act – True inspiration doesn’t just stay in our minds; it propels us forward, making us want to create, grow, or pursue something meaningful.

What Sparks Inspiration?

People often feel inspired when they experience:

• Novelty – New surroundings, ideas, or experiences can refresh our thinking.
• Purpose – Feeling connected to something bigger than ourselves fuels long-term inspiration.
• Creativity – Engaging in creative activities (even if they aren’t related to our goals) can awaken inspiration in other areas of life.
• Resonance – Witnessing someone else’s journey, hearing a powerful message, or reading something that deeply aligns with us can spark inspiration in an instant.

Understanding how inspiration works is key to cultivating it on demand instead of waiting for it to show up. Next, we’ll explore why inspiration sometimes fades—and what to do about it.

Why We Feel Uninspired

We are created in the image of a creative God, designed to dream, build, and bring new ideas to life. So why do we sometimes feel like inspiration is completely out of reach? This lackluster mood can make us question ourselves. Do I have anything meaningful to offer? Is my life really this boring? Why do I feel so stuck? The truth is inspiration isn’t something we either “have” or “don’t have”—it’s something that can be nurtured and reignited. Often, the reason we feel uninspired isn’t random; it’s a sign that something deeper needs our attention.

Common Causes of Feeling Uninspired

🔹 Routine & Predictability – When life becomes repetitive, our brains go on autopilot. Without new stimuli, there’s nothing to spark fresh ideas or excitement.

🔹 Mental Overload & Stress – If your mind is cluttered with to-do lists, responsibilities, or worries, there’s little room for creativity and inspiration to flourish.

🔹 Lack of Rest or Play – Constant productivity without moments of joy, playfulness, or rest can drain us. Inspiration often emerges in moments of stillness or fun, not just in hard work.

🔹 Disconnection from Purpose – When we lose sight of why we’re doing something, motivation dwindles. A sense of purpose fuels long-term inspiration.

🔹 Fear & Self-Doubt – Sometimes, we want to take action, but a deeper fear holds us back—fear of failure, judgment, or not being good enough.

🔹 Comparison & Perfectionism – Scrolling through social media or constantly measuring ourselves against others can leave us feeling unmotivated and discouraged rather than inspired.

How to Recognize When You’re in an ‘Uninspired Rut’

Feeling uninspired isn’t always obvious. Here are a few signs that you might be stuck:

✔️ You feel restless but aren’t sure what you want.
✔️ You procrastinate on things you know you want to do.
✔️ You feel like you’re just “going through the motions.”
✔️ You keep waiting for motivation to strike, but it never comes.

The good news? Inspiration isn’t lost forever—it just needs a reset. Next, we’ll explore how to reignite that spark and get back into a flow of creativity, motivation, and purpose.

How to Reignite Inspiration

Feeling uninspired doesn’t mean you’ve lost your creativity or passion—it just means you need a spark. Inspiration thrives when we intentionally create space for it, and it often expands after just one tiny spark! Here are practical ways to ignite that flame.

1. Change Your Environment

A simple shift in surroundings can work wonders.

🔹 Get outside – Or if you’re in a cold climate like me, LOOK outside or bring the outdoors in. Nature naturally awakens creativity and curiosity. A walk in the fresh air, a sunrise, or even the sound of birds can stir something new within you.
🔹 Switch up your workspace – Rearranging your desk, adding fresh flowers, or even working from a coffee shop can bring a fresh perspective.
🔹 Take a break from screens – Digital overload dulls creativity. Unplug for a bit and allow your mind to breathe.

2. Seek Out New Experiences

Inspiration often comes from the unexpected. If you’re feeling stagnant, introduce something new into your routine.

🔹 Try a new hobby – Painting, cooking a new recipe, or even learning a dance move can spark joy. Even flipping through magazines or books that showcase hobbies can create fresh excitement and ideas.
🔹 Read or listen to something outside your norm – Pick up a book in a different genre, listen to a thought-provoking podcast, or watch a documentary on a topic you know nothing about.
🔹 Take a short trip – Even a weekend getaway or exploring a nearby town can shift your mindset. Applied in the simplest way, I sometimes step away from my work to walk our pups around the block, or to just go watch them romp in the backyard together, before jumping back in.

3. Connect with Others

Sometimes, we need people to reignite our fire.

🔹 Have a deep conversation – Talking with someone who inspires you can bring fresh insight.
🔹 Join a group or community – Surrounding yourself with creative, motivated people naturally pulls you out of a rut.
🔹 Serve others – Volunteering or simply helping a friend can shift your focus and bring renewed energy. A balanced life includes pouring out as well as being poured into. That flow of energy and focus can refill and inspire us when we need it most.

4. Revisit Your “Why”

Lack of inspiration often comes from losing sight of what drives us. There’s neuroscience behind taking intentional time to think about what you want and why you want it. Unlike the popular secular “law of attraction” which implies a magically-woo formula for getting what you want, science shows that focusing our brain on what we want and why, as well as visualizing that process is like mentally rehearsing the outcome. When we set our intentions, the brain more easily recalls our goals and driving motivators when we’re faced with related options throughout the day.

🔹 Ask yourself: Why did I start this? What impact do I want to make? Why is this something I’m (still) choosing to pursue?
🔹 Look back at past successes – Remind yourself of times you did feel inspired and what fueled that passion.
🔹 Pray and reflect – Spending time in prayer, journaling, or meditating on scripture can help realign your heart with God’s purpose for you.

5. Take Small, Imperfect Action

Inspiration doesn’t always come before action—often, it follows it.

🔹 Start small – If you’re waiting to feel motivated before taking action, flip the script. Do something tiny to build momentum.
🔹 Don’t wait for perfection – The first step doesn’t need to be flawless; it just needs to happen. I once heard that famous author Stephen King attributes his success and number of best-sellers to his self-enforced rule that he must write 1000 words per day. That’s any thousand words; not the “best” or the “right” ones. King knows that often just that first action is all it takes to breathe life into the inspiration needed to continue.  
🔹 Celebrate progress – Acknowledge even the smallest wins to keep motivation going.

There’s a caveat to this step! Focusing only on actions will only lead to short-term success. Why? Because actions don’t cause feelings; our thoughts about our actions do! So, take the small steps, but then reflect on that action in a way that inspires you forward. (If I did that, what else is possible?!”)

6. Prioritize Rest & Play

Inspiration flourishes when we’re refreshed.

🔹 Give yourself permission to rest – Burnout kills creativity. Take time to recharge without guilt. If you’re resting while thinking you should be doing something else, you steal from yourself and the process.
🔹 Do something fun—just for the sake of it – Play a game, laugh with a friend, or dance in your kitchen. Doodle while watching a favorite show. Joy fuels inspiration.
🔹 Practice gratitude – Noticing the good in your life shifts your mindset and makes space for new ideas.

7. Ask God for Fresh Vision

As the ultimate Creator, God is the source of all inspiration.

🔹 Ask for guidance – Pray for fresh vision and trust that inspiration will come in the right time.
🔹 Read scripture for encouragement – Verses like Isaiah 43:19 (“See, I am doing a new thing!”) remind us that God is always at work, even when we feel stuck. Here again, simply reading or saying something to yourself (both actions) will only produce short term benefits unless you believe them. (Ultimately, our thoughts are what create our emotions.)
🔹 Surrender the pressure – You don’t have to force inspiration. Sometimes, the best thing you can do is let go and trust the process.

Creating an Inspiration Vault

When inspiration feels distant, it can help to have a system in place to rekindle it. Your Inspiration Vault acts as a safety net, ensuring you always have a well of motivation to draw from when you need it most.

• A “Wins” Journal – Keep a notebook or digital document with small and big accomplishments, breakthroughs, and moments of joy. This might include emails/notes from others who have been inspired by your work, words, or example.
• A Playlist of Motivational Songs, quotes, etc. – Music and powerful messages can instantly shift your mindset.
• A “Lightbulb” List or “Swipe File”– A running list of ideas, even half-formed ones, to revisit when you need a spark. Collect examples, clippings, etc. of work, art, or ideas that excite you—whether it’s design, writing, or business ideas.
• Vision Board – Whether in a Pinterest board, scrapbook, or a poster board on your wall, make a visual collection of words, phrases, and pictures of meaningful experiences, achievements, or places that make you feel alive.
• An “Energy List” – A list of activities, places, or people that energize and inspire you. When feeling stuck, choose something from the list.

Reigniting inspiration isn’t about waiting for a magical burst of energy—it’s about creating space for it to grow. The more we intentionally invite inspiration into our lives, the more naturally it flows.

Bringing Inspiration Back: Key Takeaways & Next Steps

Inspiration isn’t something we either have or don’t have—it’s something we cultivate. Feeling uninspired doesn’t mean you’re stuck forever or that you lack purpose. It simply signals that something needs attention, whether it’s your mindset, your environment, or your connection to what truly fuels you.

Key Takeaways to Reignite Inspiration:

✅ Recognize that inspiration isn’t lost—it just needs nurturing. You were designed to create, dream, and build. Feeling uninspired is temporary.
✅ Change your environment and seek new experiences. A fresh perspective often comes from stepping outside of routine.
✅ Surround yourself with inspiring people. Conversations, community, and service can spark new motivation.
✅ Revisit your “why.” Reflect on what excites you, what God has placed in your heart, and the impact you want to make.
✅ Take small, imperfect action. You don’t need to wait for inspiration—sometimes, doing is what brings it back.
✅ Prioritize rest, play, and gratitude. A well-rested mind and a joyful spirit naturally open the door to creativity.
✅ Ask God for fresh vision. He is the ultimate source of inspiration, always leading us toward new growth.

Take a moment right now to reflect—what’s one small thing you can do today to invite inspiration back into your life? Maybe it’s stepping outside, reconnecting with a friend, or journaling about your dreams. Whatever it is, take that step. Inspiration follows action.

Ready to Bring Inspiration Back Into Your Life?

You don’t have to stay stuck in a season of feeling uninspired. With small, intentional shifts, you can reignite your creativity, motivation, and sense of purpose. If you’re ready to take the next step, here’s how I can help:

🔹 Get my free guide: The Intentional Mind Daily Planner – A powerful tool to help you anchor your thoughts, cultivate inspiration, and move forward with clarity. Download it here!

🔹 Work with me one-on-one – If you’re looking for deeper guidance in this season, I offer coaching to help you gain clarity, manage your emotions, and create an intentional, joy-filled life. Let’s connect!

No matter where you are right now, remember this: you were created to live with purpose. Inspiration isn’t something you have to chase—it’s something you can create. Take the first step today. ❤️🙏🏼🧠

The post Feeling Uninspired? Here’s Why It Happens and How to Get Your Spark Back appeared first on Rise Coaching.

This week, I sat with a woman who was upset by a family member’s social media post that stated, “You don’t need to be perfect. I love & accept you as you are.”

When I asked why she was bothered by this, she stated that the person who posted it doesn’t accept her.

“In fact”, she added, “he’s super judgmental. He excludes people and picks & chooses who’s acceptable in his eyes.” 

When the conversation changed fifteen minutes later, I was puzzled when she made a statement that I felt was very unloving, exclusive, and judgmental of a minority group.

I was truly baffled. How did she not see that she was behaving exactly as she’d just described someone else?

(And wait…wasn’t I being judgmental now?!)

We all have parts of ourselves that others see, while we cannot.

Whenever someone tells me that “Christians are hypocrites” I validate their view and add that they certainly can be. Because Christians are human, and humans can be hypocritical. 

But while often see “hypocrites” as people who are behaving badly, few understand how the brain itself causes hypocritical behaviors within us.

There’s actually a psychology theory that can help explain this bizarre tendency of ours.

It’s called the Johari Window.

Imagine a window frame containing four panes–each with its own little window shade that can be drawn open or closed at any given time.

Each window pane represents a different view into our soul (our beliefs, character, behavior, personality, etc.).

There are parts of us that we keep private and other parts that we express openly to others. And of course, when we draw the shades depends also depends on who it is that’s looking into us. (I’m much more likely to be vulnerable with someone who feels safe.)

But have you considered what parts of yourself you keep hidden from yourself?

Each quadrant of the Johari Window represents the parts of us that are known by ourselves and by others. For example, when both I and others describe me as shy & quiet, this would be the “open/known” parts of myself. 

Whereas if I survived a trauma that now makes me highly anxious when around people, but I hide this well from others, we’re referring to a “Private/hidden” part of the self (a facade).

It’s possible that we’re unaware of things that happened to us during infancy and their ongoing impacts to our life). These things which are also unseen by others are the “unknown” parts of self.

Awareness is key.

You can’t change what you don’t acknowledge.

So how do we fix things we’re not even aware of?

How do we “see” our blindspots?

Thankfully, there are things we can do to increase our self-awareness so that we’re not operating in the dark!

Every spring in Wisconsin, yard signs are posted saying, “Start seeing motorcycles!” 

People laugh about this, saying “How can I see something I don’t see?!”

But these signs have been proven to decrease cycle/car accidents, because psychology shows that we’re more likely to see something when we’re actively looking for it!

 

How to open your blind(spot)s:

🧠 Watch for your blindspots and acknowledge that you have them.

This one simple step will open your mind to watching for areas where you may be missing the bigger picture. 

 

🧠 Fact-check your thoughts. 

When you notice yourself having a strong reaction to something (mentally, emotionally, or physically), make a list of all of your thoughts about what’s happened (without editing). When you’ve finished, fact-check them. Ask yourself, “What would someone who believes the opposite say about this?” to broaden your perspective.

🧠 Ask others for feedback.

Asking others how they perceive you can give you incredible insight into behaviors that you’re completely unaware of.  Be sure to ask those with varying degrees of closeness to you. While your spouse has come to know your heart and your intentions over time (therefore seeing you through that lens), those who know you more casually will likely have a more subjective view of your behaviors. They’re more likely to notice your general moods, tone of voice, etc. Hearing these things can help you understand the “first impression” (and those that follow) that you give to others.

🧠 Get a second opinion.

When someone comments about your personality or character, don’t be afraid to ask what gave them that impression. This is especially helpful when you feel misunderstood. Asking someone who knows you well whether they can see how someone got this impression may add further information.

🧠 Hire a coach.

If you’ve been trying to change or do something for an extended time, without success, it’s very possible that a blind spot is holding you back.  Having a subjective person to share their observations and challenge your perspective can be incredibly beneficial. I’ve experienced this multiple times in my own life, as well as regularly with clients. (There’s nothing like witnessing a “light-bulb moment” where a person suddenly sees what was previously kept in the dark!)

 

There are two things I’ve learned about how people present themselves to the world.

Those with high self-awareness are generally pretty regulated and often other-aware as well.  But those who are highly aware (AKA critical) of others tend to be highly unaware when it comes to themselves.  And we can all increase our awareness by shedding a little light in the places we’ve seldom tended to in the past.

Ask your Creator to shine some light in the dark places, so you can show up as the beautiful human He created you to be. 🙂

Let me hold the flashlight for you...

Schedule a free consultation call to understand how your blindspots may be holding you back.

There’s no pressure and no commitment.

Just information. 

Schedule now

The post Hypocritical Blindspots appeared first on Rise Coaching.

I’ll take great theatrical liberty here, but he basically asks Moses, “What are you thinking? You can’t do this all on your own. You’re going to burn yourself out. Train a few people how to do the things that you’re juggling (and to do them well) and then step back and let them do the job! They can come to you if they have questions or need help with the tasks.”

No intelligent man goes against the advice of his father-in-law, so he put these things all into action and reaped the benefits! Jethro teaches us three lessons in this story. Three things all leaders need to learn how to do are:

1. Be able to recognize, listen to and act on wise counsel.
2. Delegate work and decisions to others.
3. Mentor others to grow as well

Wise Counsel

The first on this list comes easily for me. I actively seek out counsel when I need it and am happy to apply what they teach.  I’m a words girl, and numbers give me migraines.  So, when our financial advisor shoots us an email suggesting some changes, I’m happy to hear her advice. Of course, part of this process is vetting the people you let into that you give your ear to. While it’s not necessary that every person you hire be Christian, it is important that you trust their values and know that they’ll support you in living according to yours.

Delegate Tasks

Step two is where my greatest growth opportunity resides! I admit that when it comes to my professional life, I’m a bit of a perfectionist at heart. (And a work still in progress, thankfully.) This need to please almost always also means being a bit of a control freak.  I admittedly have a hard time letting go of my tasks and entrusting them to someone else. But just as Moses learned, doing it “all” can wear a person out quick! And worn-down, burnt-out humans certainly do not perform at their peak for long.

“We accomplish all that we do through delegation
–either to time or to other people.”
~Stephen R. Covey

I recently spent six months working with two business coaches, evaluating my business model, and making adjustments so that the systems and offerings I have are sustainable and scalable. It didn’t take these two wise women long to point out that I was doing too much. They gave me the assignment of making a list of all the tasks I was doing on a daily, weekly, and monthly basis, and then addressed each of my well-thought-out rationales (AKA excuses and lies I was believing) as to why I was the only person who could do those tasks, and how I could not afford to hire them out.

I’ve since studied the topic while asking myself, “What if delegating tasks was not only possible but was the key to being able to help more women live the lives they were created for?”  I’ve since learned two connected lessons:

Delegating doesn’t always have to cost money. What do you have to offer, and who do you know who offers what you need? How could you barter with someone so you both get something you value? (Since I’d rather be coaching than cleaning, I’d love to find someone to exchange services with!) In addition, it doesn’t have to cost a lot. Hiring a teen to the things that must be done, but aren’t the best use of your time, is a great solution. They make some extra cash, and so do you—because you’re diverting that time to your business or areas that will get you “more bang for your buck” (as grandma used to say!).

Time is money…or money can buy time. Think of this through the lens of seeking out a high ROI (return on investment). If you can make $50/hour doing a “side job” that you enjoy, would you pay someone $20/hr to grocery shop for you while you’re doing what you love?

Mentor Others

Thankfully, the challenge of delegation comes with a gift: the opportunity to mentor others. “Paying it forward” is one of the most enjoyable part of being a leader. (And let’s face it, we’re all leaders in some way!) Whether you’re paying someone to do the work, or training someone through an internship, sharing the lessons you’ve learned and encouraging others to learn & grow is a win-win solution. They gain from your knowledge, you gain from their fresh perspective, but also because the process of delegating and mentoring bring new lessons with them.

Seeking wise counsel, delegating to others and mentoring them along the way becomes an elevating paradigm where we rise up with generations on both sides of us. I’m intrigued by cultures that honor their elders and cultivate cultures of community. By incorporating these three habits into our lives, we experience gains that go beyond the financial.

Application

Here are some things you can consider to 3X your contribution:

What tasks do you do on a daily, weekly, and monthly basis?

Who do you know who does these things well?

How can you learn from that person?

What do you know and have to offer?

Who would benefit from learning those things?

How can you trade services or who could you pay to complete those tasks?

How can you “pay it forward,” to multiply your knowledge and double the work of your hands?

Want help to take a look at the bottle-necks in your systems?

It’s available in many forms! Click below to schedule a free forty-five minute consultation where we’ll take a snapshot of how you’re doing and what support you’d benefit most from. We’ll get you living the life you were created for.

Schedule Now

The post 3 Habits to 3X Your Contribution appeared first on Rise Coaching.

Somewhere along the years, the word “discipline” has joined ranks of these words. If you look up the definition online, it’s now associated with punishment, controlling others, and even abuse. But discipline has been around since the beginning of time and is listed throughout the Bible as something that benefits us and helps us to grow.

It’s no coincidence that the word sounds a lot like “disciple.” Both words come from the Latin root discere, which means “to learn”.  While the latin word for discipline (“disciplina”) means instruction and training, the word disciple (“discipulus”) means student.

Jesus called many to follow Him and learn from Him. Not everyone did. John 6 tells the story of how He preached to thousands, telling them all that it would mean to follow Him and what this growth would produce in them (including power, love and self-discipline). He offered this to all, but many thought it was too much, (too disciplined, one might say) so they walked away. We were created with the free-will to decide for ourselves whether we want to learn and grow.

Discipline = instruction and training
Disciple = student

The majority of the people I work with and hang out with would say they love learning. Who doesn’t? And yet, society today shies away from the concept, and shames parents for “disciplining” their children…not realizing that teaching our children how to learn and be responsible for their thoughts, feelings and actions is a life necessity that helps us succeed.

Most of the things in this life that grow us take discipline. Learning a new instrument, habit, losing weight, gaining strength, writing a novel, running a marathon…. You name it, you need discipline to get it! Psalm 12:1 says whoever loves discipline, loves knowledge. It also says something a bit harsh…whoever hates discipline is “brutish.” (That means unintelligent-like an animal.) We were made for so much more.

So, what does it take to have discipline?

Four steps:

Consistency & Repetition

Commitment

Removed Temptation

Expect & Plan for Resistance

Consistency & Repetition

When we learn something new, the brain fights against it.  This is because the brain is focused on doing things with as little effort as possible. Once we’ve done something repeatedly and consistently for some time, the brain delegates the activity to the subconscious, and we begin to do it on “autopilot.”

If we’re learning an instrument, we first have to focus on the placement of each finger and think through idioms to help us remember the notes. (“Every Good Boy Does Fine!”) With time, those aspects are done without our focus, so we can concentrate elsewhere (like singing along as we play!).

Commitment

We have the ability to choose every day what we will do. As silly as it may sound, reminding your brain of your decision and dedication to follow through will strengthen your will to do so. When your actions don’t align with your values (what you think is important), you’ll feel internal friction and will be faced with a decision…change your behavior or change your mind! So re-mind yourself of why you’re committed to following through.

Instead of thinking about the discipline of doing devotions in the morning, remind yourself that you’re doing this to improve your relationship with God, to improve your ability to recognize His voice, and to feel His presence in your life, so you can show His love to others as well.

Remove Temptation

Not only does our brain want to stay on “autopilot,” it also naturally seeks pleasure/comfort and avoids pain/discomfort. So, if it takes more energy to focus your mind and stay on task, it will offer you all sorts of “alternatives” and distractions.  But here’s the good news. God promises that He’ll always offer a choice and the ability to control our thoughts and behavior.

If you’ve set out to write one chapter of a book each week, silence your phone and put it in another room! Turn off your notifications on your computer and clear your desk of any distractions. If you’re trying to get healthy, stock the kitchen with healthy food rather than your favorite snacks.

Expect & Plan for Resistance

Creating a new habit isn’t easy work. If it were, you’d already be doing it!  But just because it’s not “easy” doesn’t mean it’s impossible. You absolutely can teach an old dog new tricks. Be “onto” your brain.  Expect it to offer you all sorts of silly thoughts about what you deserve, how deprived you are in the moment, and all the reasons why you can do this tomorrow (or why it was a dumb idea in the first place!).  I like to think of this part of my brain as a toddler version of myself whining in order to get what she wants. I lovingly think to myself, “Yep. I hear you. But I’ve already made my decision.”

When my daughter was little, I realized quickly that there were times that I needed her to do what I asked of her without questioning me. Not because her questions were valid.  Not because I didn’t want to answer them, but because of two things:

1-My thought process when making decisions ahead of time was more rational than her thought process during an impulse or urge.

2-I knew there’d be a time when her obedience (another “dirty” word in today’s society) was imperative for what was best for her for the long-term.

Imagine you saw someone dangerous approaching your child and you say, “I need you to come here, please.”  You don’t want her to provide excuses or resist you. Rather, you’d want her to do what you ask now, knowing you’d be open to discussion about her thoughts & feelings later.

This, to me, is the heart of discipline. It was never intended to be abusive or manipulative. It was created for love. For growth and learning. And the biggest bonus of discipline? It’s almost impossible to be disciplined in only one aspect of your life.  When we learn how to regulate our thoughts, feelings and behavior, we’re better able to apply it throughout our life, affecting our body, soul and mind.

Need some help going after it?

It’s available in many forms! Click below to schedule a free forty-five minute consultation where we’ll take a snapshot of how you’re doing and what support you’d benefit most from. We’ll get you living the life you were created for.

Schedule Now

The post Discipline (It’s not a bad word) appeared first on Rise Coaching.

What we have grows in crisis.

This is why great marriages get stronger during the death of a child, whereas fractured marriages end.

When things are going great in our life, we pay little attention to our thinking…because there’s no reason to change our thoughts or feelings.

But crisis startles the brain, making it on high-alert for any signs of danger.

This helps us regain a sense of security and control.

We watch the news nonstop. We comb social media and the internet for the latest information (even if it isn’t factual!).

This makes us human.

And it is NOT helpful.

The more we look for evidence that reason exists to be afraid, the more we find it (and ignore anything that shows the opposite is true).

Crisis gives us an opportunity and a choice.

A chance to get quiet. To turn inward. And upward.

To see and hear what we may otherwise drown out.

It’s the best time to align your spirit with God’s.

To pray and meditate and journal what He’s saying and where He’s leading.

We gain clarity about what exactly is causing suffering in our life & world, and what He wants us to do about it.

Our circumstances and our thoughts about them are NOT the same things.

Our thoughts are not like God’s thoughts, and our ways are not His ways.

People often say, “I can’t handle one more thing.”

We’ve somehow gotten the idea that we have an infinite ability to thrive, but a limited ability to withstand emotional pain or suffering.

The truth is that with God, we have an infinite capacity not only for suffering but also for resilience, strength, and redemption that God can provide through crisis.

I know you’re tired, friends.  There’s an abundance of pain all around us today.

But there’s also hope and strength and resilience.

And a Father who loves you and wants to grow His relationship with you and teach you something in the midst of it all.

Rising Soul is a monthly membership of Christian women, intentionally living the abundant life we were created for. Each month, we take a deep dive into a new topic, learning from Scripture & neuroscience, and then applying it to our life! 

Click here to learn more and join the waitlist so you don’t miss out when doors reopen next quarter!

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They were impressed. They talked among themselves about how it would improve the security of their product and how well they expect it to be received by their end customer and the innovation it would bring. There was just one thing they couldn’t get past. These trays get shipped to their customers in boxes…which they already had a large supply of. Finally, the CEO who had been listening quietly spoke up. “Are we seriously talking about boxes?” “You’re right.” Someone said. “Scrap the boxes. This is going to change everything!”

What my husband shared as just a recap of his day was a little gold nugget that I shared with the members of Rising Soul. We’ve been talking about our identities this month. The story made me think of the boxes we put ourselves in. We look to our past to see what’s possible in our lives. We get hung up on minuscule details and allow them to prevent us from change. We let all the lies we’ve believed and the identity we’ve adopted (from the world–not from our Creator!) box us in and keep us from growing and expanding.

How often do you box yourself in with your own thoughts about yourself and what you’re capable of?

“I am terrible at math”

“I’m not smart enough.”

“I could never do that.”

“I’m not strong enough to handle this.”

“I’m confused.”

“I’m not good with money and budgeting.”

God is bigger than any limitations that we can box ourselves into. This means we’re capable of so much more than we realize…because God can do all things in and through us!

Of course, not all things need to be changeable. But it’s possible they could…whether with practice or a change in thoughts and actions.

The problem is that humans have what’s known by psychologists as a cognitive bias.  It means our brain is always looking for evidence of what it already believes is true. (It’s also the scientific explanation for the self-fulfilling prophecy.) A belief is nothing more than a thought we’ve thought so many times that our brain accepts it as reality and no longer checks for evidence to the contrary.

Another problem with this is that God is bigger than any limitations that we can box ourselves into. This means we’re capable of so much more than we realize…because God can do all things in and through us!

This morning I was reading in Acts where Paul gave an account of his life while standing on trial.  He told the King and the crowd that he was raised Jewish and had been taught by the best teachers all throughout childhood.  He was a member of the strictest sect of the Jewish religion- living as a Pharisee until he was old enough to take the road hunting down Christians.  He admitted that he even held the coats for people as they stoned a man to death!  And then…he went on to share the story of how he met Jesus one day on the road to Damascus, and how Jesus had changed him completely–from murderer to messenger.

Thank God (literally!) that Paul didn’t allow his past to box him in. 

Instead, he found freedom.

A new way of being.

A life that looked nothing like the one he left behind.

Sure, others tried to keep him in the box he’d put himself in.  Some preferred he stay there.  “Wait!” Some said, “Isn’t this the guy who ran around killing people? Do we really trust this guy enough to listen to what’s he’s got to say?”  I may be taking some liberty here with my translation, but the point is that it’s natural to hang onto what we’ve believed of ourselves- and others-in the past, in order to anticipate the future.  By doing so, we run the risk of limiting ourselves or resisting the change that God has in store for us!

The next time you catch yourself identifying your abilities or character by your past, stop and ask yourself:

1. Is this really true?
2. Are there exceptions?
3. What if God could change this about me?
4. what may He be trying to do in or through me?

Then scrap the box, knowing God can change anything!

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The post Breaking Out of Boxes appeared first on Rise Coaching.

Over the years,  I perfected a method that I still use today when I feel overwhelmed by circumstances in my life.  I first grab a piece of paper and quickly brainstorm all the things my mind is racing with that need sorting out.  I continue until my mind feels uncluttered before opening my journal and dating the corner.  Then, one-by-one I pick away at them, spilling all my thoughts & feelings until each one has been crossed off.  I’ve found solace in this method, but I don’t always have time for it.  So when I learned how to self coach using the model method,  I was grateful to find the express way.  As a bonus, it also brought swifter change.

Where to begin?
I keep a notebook that I use just for my self coaching models.  It’s often fulfilling to look back over the pages and see how far I’ve come by changing my thoughts.  There are two different ways that you can go about self coaching.  I like to think of them like taking a peek under the hood of my car to keep it running at its best: Either a “Full diagnostic” or “maintenance check”.  If there’s a specific problem you’re wrestling with, work on that one issue until you see change.  All of your work below will stay on-topic.  Perhaps you have a difficult relationship that challenges your  love-ability.  Run models and self coach on that every single day until you see a shift in your thoughts and feelings. 

If you’re pretty stinkin’ happy with your life and just want to strengthen your emotional, spiritual & mental health, then you’ll treat your coaching as maintenance and work with all your thoughts, regardless of how many topics they span.  For today, we’re going to stick to the “full diagnostic” method though, so you can see how this works if you’re coaching on a specific topic.  Once you understand this, it will be easier to apply to “maintenance” type self-coaching.

The Self Coaching Process
Step One: Do a “Thought Download”

1. Make a list of all your thoughts in bullet-point format.  These are all your thoughts about one circumstance.  All your thoughts.  Unfiltered.  (Be sure you’re not editing as you go.  Your list must be unfiltered in order to get a real picture of what’s going on in your mind.)
2. After you’re finished with your list, take a step back.  First put a “+” or “-” next to each one so you get a clear view of whether your overall thinking on the subject are positive, negative, or balanced.
3. Then evaluate each line and determine if it’s a “Thought” or a “circumstance”. (Read the linked blog if you have any questions at all about the difference. This determination is a key step!)  Label each bullet point either “T” or “C”.   Notice how objective your thinking is or is not about this subject.  (Don’t judge; just notice.)

Newbies: If you’re brand new to thought work, just doing daily downloads will increase your level of self awareness substantially!

Step Two: “Unintentional Model”
1.  Clearly state the circumstance in a factual way that no one would agree with.
2.  Pick one thought from your list & plug it into the “T” line of your model.
3.  Continue working your way down through the model,  making sure to keep each line “connected” to the next.

Example: 
C: My mother-in-law asked “Didn’t anyone teach you to keep house?”
T: “She’s so critical”
F:  Irritated
A: Get snippy, notice everything she says that’s critical, complain to my husband about everything she does
R: I become critical of her.

Newbies: Again, just “Step Two” will increase your awareness of whether your thoughts are useful and whether they’re creating the results you want.  There’s no need to rush onto Intentional Models.  Allow yourself to think your current thought and feel however you do, without jumping to change it.  You may decide to keep  your thought and feelings.  Just make sure you like your reason!

Step Three: “Intentional Model”
This is more advanced work and you may need someone to help you apply it at first–especially if you’re stuck thinking your circumstance is causing your feelings.  (It’s not! Remember, your thoughts about your circumstance create your feelings.)  Don’t move forward until you’re able to see that and see how the circumstance could  be neutral.

1. Copy the same circumstance as your first model.
2. Ask yourself, “If this was never going to change, what result would I want that  is  in my control? Write that in your result line.  (Remember, another person can only be in your “C” line, because you can’t control their T’s, F’s, A’s or R’s.)
3. Work your way up the model, by asking connected questions.

I’ll use the above example, working from the bottom up so you see what I mean.
(I would actually write it in the same order as above CTFAR, but work from the bottom up.)

R: If my mother-in-law was going to continue asking similar questions/statements throughout her life, what result would I want that is in my control? I respect that she’s my husband’s mom, and don’t feel a need to have a close relationship with her.
A:  What actions would I need to take in order to get that result?
Let her comments roll off me, remind myself that I’m respectful because she’s his mom and we don’t need to be close. Avoid topics that are likely to open up room for criticism.
F: What would I need to feel in order to take this action? unattached
T: What thought would I need to think in order to feel this way?
“I respect her because she’s his mother, but that doesn’t mean we have to be close. “
C: My mother-in-law asked “Didn’t anyone teach you to keep house?”

This is easiest to apply when you’ve seen or heard a live example, but so many of my clients ask for something to refer back to that I thought I’d share it with all of you as well!  Give it a try- I guarantee that even if you only apply step one or two, it will change the way you’re thinking, feeling, and the results you get in your life!  If you’d like a little help applying it to you personally, reach out to me or schedule a free consult with me by clicking below.
This is my very favorite thing to teach people because I love that moment when their face lights up and I can see they truly “get it”.
They tell me that a huge pressure just came off their shoulders.
That they wish they had learned this years ago.
That this changes everything.

Not sure how to apply this to your own life?  Why not do a mini session with me?

Click here. It’s free.

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The post How to Self-Coach appeared first on Rise Coaching.

The concept of the model I teach is not new to most people.  Somewhere among the exorbitant volume of information we consume, you’ve likely heard it said that your thoughts create your feelings, your feelings drive your actions, and your actions create your results.  Aaron T. Beck (“The Father of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) was the first to succinctly express this observation.  Brooke Castillo (founder of The Life Coach School) reworded his work into a diagram similar to mine below.  But the model itself wasn’t created by humans.   Models aren’t something we create on paper. They’re the way that God created the world and they show us how it operates. They’re a neutral observation of human behavior, and they’re working whether we acknowledge them or not.

The results you have now are coming from the models you’re living in.  We think we’ve heard it all when it comes to achieving goals.  That thought keeps us from diving into what’s really going on, getting honest & vulnerable enough to do the hard work.  We’re the only beings that God created with the ability to think about what we’re thinking about.  But as humans we rarely slow down long enough to look at what’s happening in our brains.  We’re all at one of three places:   1. Intentionally choosing what you think and feel You take responsibility for your life and the results you’re creating. You think & act intentionally and ask God to help transform your mind.  You set goals and know you will achieve them, and then in fact do. (Remember, repeated thoughts become belief. And sometimes our belief in God & His greater plan are the models we choose to live out.)

2. Unintentional living You’re moving through life, taking it as it comes. You feel overwhelmed, frustrated, out of control, powerless, confused at how to make your life work the way you want.  You may find yourself thinking things like “When will it ever change?” “Will it ever get better?” “Why does this stuff keep happening to me?”
“Why does everyone in my life take advantage of me (or fill in the blank!)”

3. You’re somewhere in between Maybe all this is new information and no-one’s ever told you that you can change your thoughts to change your life.  It sounds like both freedom and responsibility (because it is!) and you’re intrigued and want to know more.

Self Coaching vs. Coaching
Running models and self-coaching allows us to see the models we are creating and then decide powerfully if we want to keep living in them.  But if you want to reach your goals, you have to get good at knowing your models. You have to be intentional about pulling your thoughts apart and deciding how you want to show up in this world. (And the next!)  Choose who you want to be and how you want to think.  (Watch for a future blog with specifics on how to self coach!)

There are two models (thoughts) to focus on when working toward changing a habit or creating a goal: 1. Your model (thoughts) about your goal.  2. Your model (thoughts) about creating it.

So why get coaching if I can do it myself?  
Someone recently asked why I’m “giving all this great info. away for free”.  She was concerned that by sharing all this, people may not hire me as their coach.  But I know the truth.  This information is a gift that fees people.  I want everyone to have it!  (Throw it around like confetti!)  And people don’t buy information.  The Googles can tell you anything you want to know and it won’t cost a cent.  While you can certainly make huge strides by coaching yourself, the BIGGEST change comes when we apply what we’ve learned and have someone to point out our blind spots. 

Most of our models are unconscious. We can only coach on ourselves in the area of self-awareness.  But it’s the thoughts we think are “facts” until someone challenges whether it’s true, that trip us up the most.  One sneaky thought creates a cycle that keeps us from our dreams.

I work models daily with my clients. You can get started with yours now. The sooner you get started, the sooner you achieve your goals. The sooner you start living big and stop playing small. The sooner you take charge of your life.

Come to a free consult and see what it’s like for yourself. You won’t regret it.

schedule it now!

The post How Models Reflect God’s Creation appeared first on Rise Coaching.

Humans are funny creatures. We spend the majority of time trying to change things that are out of our control. The truth is, if we look at all the things we can control, they boil down to just three! My thoughts, my feelings, and my actions (which includes my reactions and inaction). Everything else falls within the outer circle-the area that is out of my control. 

A third area exists though, which is rarely talked about.  It’s what I refer to as the Circle of Influence.  This is a bit of a gray area because it includes things I can control (such as our language, tone & volume of voice, and body language), which may or may not influence things that are outside of our control.  The fact that it may or may not influence our circumstance makes it still out of our control.  This seems like a pretty basic concept.  So why does it give us so much trouble?

Let’s apply it to what we know: Circumstances do not cause our feelings; our thoughts about our circumstances do.  We know this to be true because two different people can experience the same circumstance and have completely different reactions to them -based on their thoughts.  Understanding this concept is incredibly liberating.  Consider the alternative.  If circumstances really do create our feelings, we’re up a creek without a paddle! The only hope we would have of feeling better would be by changing the circumstance.  (Which I’m guessing you’ve already tried without success. If you could control your circumstance, you wouldn’t be struggling so hard!)

This brings BOTH freedom and responsibility
My favorite moment both as a therapist and life coach is the moment that clients “get it”.  That second that this makes sense to them, and they fully understand what it means.  Their faces open. Their eyes widen. Their head drops back slightly and their face lights up.  They suddenly feel empowered. They’re no longer at the mercy of other people’s actions. ..And then, the other half of the reality sets in.  Their expression reverses as they realize this also means they are responsible for how they feel, through how they choose to think about circumstances.  Note that responsible does not  mean at fault.So what then, of this circle of influence? If it’s not my words or actions (these are circumstances) that cause someone else to feel something, but rather, their thoughts about my words/actions that cause their feelings, then what does this mean on a moral level? 

Once we understand this truth, people apply it in one of three ways:

1. They under-emphasize their influence in order to absolve themselves of responsibility.

When this information is abused, people could use it as a way to manipulate others, falsely exonerating themselves of any guilt or responsibility for their actions. In it’s most evil sense, a person uses this logic to say, “I can do whatever I want. You choose if it hurts you or not. That’s on you; not me.” This could, in deed, be the making of narcissism.

When I first learned these concepts that I teach today, I struggled with the morality behind how it could be misused. And then,
while working with a survivor of spiritual abuse, I realized that even the Bible itself has been twisted and used by people to manipulate others and benefit the self. God has given us free will to choose good or evil. Just because something could be used for evil does not mean it was not created for good.

2. They over-emphasize influence as an attempt to gain control.

This is the opposite, but not necessarily to the extreme.  In this case, we give our “influence” too much weight, accepting more responsibility than is ours to bear.  Our daughter made the unfortunate mistake of egging someone’s house with a friend when in middle school.  By having her apologize to the home owner and spend a Saturday scrubbing his siding, we attempted to influence her future behavior.  (It worked!)  There’s nothing wrong with using our influence in this manner, but we have to remember that influence is still not control.  She may have decided it was worth the extra day’s work to look cool to her friends!

3. They accept the balance of freedom and responsibility

When we understand how God created humans and human functioning and that God is love, we find a balance between freedom & responsibility.  When we recognize that it’s our thoughts that create our feelings (which then drive our actions), we can comprehend why He said we’re to take every thought captive and be transformed by the renewing of our minds instead of transforming to the ways of this world.  the fact that other people’s thoughts create their feelings is not free reign to wield our words carelessly. 
 
If I have a family member who ridicules herself harshly and is highly sensitive, I can assume with reasonable certainty that scolding her for gossiping would likely be met with self deprecation.  Does this mean I have to listen to her gossip, or join her in it, for fear of upsetting her?  We are all responsible for how we choose to think and feel. AND we are all responsible for our actions.  If I live in balance of these two, I will handle the situation in the most gentle and kindest way possible, and then allow her to own how she chooses to think about the interaction.  Freedom and responsibility.  Thankfully, we get them both.

Not sure how to apply this to your own life?  Why not do a mini session with me?

Click here. It’s free.

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The post The Circle of Influence appeared first on Rise Coaching.

While coaching a woman about her body image when she told me something I hear often.  It sounded reasonable enough. “I’ll love my body when I lose some weight.”  I helped her see that the reverse is true.  She’ll lose weight when she loves her body.”  How do I know? Because results don’t create feelings.  Our feelings drive action, and then those actions create results.  But this isn’t taught in our society.  People get this wrong every day.  They say they’ll take action, which will bring a result, and that will help them achieve a feeling they want. How many different versions of this “out of order” model have you heard?

I’ll go to school, get my degree and that will make me feel confident. When I read my Bible and pray every day, I live a God-pleasing life and then I feel loved by God. If I dressed really cute and get compliments from others, then I’ll feel beautiful. If I start my own business and earn a certain amount, then I’ll feel worthy.   Out of Order! Here’s the thing: Taking action does create results.  (Notice in the diagram above, the Action and Result are in the correct order.) But results don’t create feelings.  Our thoughts  about the results do.  I spend a lot of time coaching my client’s on how to “hack the F-line”  (How to hack into the “feeling” line of the model) in order to 10X both their results and the experience. Imagine what it a difference it makes when you take action from  the feeling you’re wanting.   Imagine: Learning to feel confident first, and then going to school as a confident person to get your degree. Or reading your Bible & spending time in prayer with Him from a place of feeling love; then living a God-pleasing life. Feeling beautiful, and then dressing to match that beauty (resulting in compliments from others that are a bonus!). Feeling worthy and then starting your business and being financially successful. (Again- those higher earnings wouldn’t define your worth.)   Why the order matters Results don’t cause feelings.  We can feel things before we get the result.  I can believe I’m capable of getting my master’s degree (and therefore feel capable) before  I get it.  I can feel desirable (as a result of my thinking) before I find my soul mate.  Any time we act from feeling (which of course also means acting from belief) we will have bigger results!  I remember seeing a study in the 90s where they sent identical female twins of different weights into “blind dates” with male test participants. They had the twin who weight considerably more act “sassy and confident” and the thinner “more fit” twin act timid about her body image.  With that one exception, they were coached to act as similarly as possible.  Every participant reported finding the heavier of the two twins more desirable and attractive.  My point is that when we act out of a feeling (in this case “desirable”), we are so much more likely to get a result that aligns with our feeling.  A confident student generally does better than one who thinks she is “stupid”.   How to think a new thought We generate feelings through the story we tell ourselves.  But telling ourselves something we don’t yet believe won’t work.  Bridge thoughts can help us move from our current belief to the one we want  to have in incremental changes.  The next time you need to take action, or are temped to take action in order to feel something, stop to take a pulse on the feeling you’re wanting and your current belief about it.  Manage your mind first. And then take action!

Not sure how to apply this to your own life?  Why not do a mini session with me?

Click here. It’s free.

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The post 10X Your Experience & Results appeared first on Rise Coaching.