The concept of the model I teach is not new to most people. Somewhere among the exorbitant volume of information we consume, you’ve likely heard it said that your thoughts create your feelings, your feelings drive your actions, and your actions create your results. Aaron T. Beck (“The Father of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) was the first to succinctly express this observation. Brooke Castillo (founder of The Life Coach School) reworded his work into a diagram similar to mine below. But the model itself wasn’t created by humans. Models aren’t something we create on paper. They’re the way that God created the world and they show us how it operates. They’re a neutral observation of human behavior, and they’re working whether we acknowledge them or not.
The results you have now are coming from the models you’re living in. We think we’ve heard it all when it comes to achieving goals. That thought keeps us from diving into what’s really going on, getting honest & vulnerable enough to do the hard work. We’re the only beings that God created with the ability to think about what we’re thinking about. But as humans we rarely slow down long enough to look at what’s happening in our brains. We’re all at one of three places: 1. Intentionally choosing what you think and feel You take responsibility for your life and the results you’re creating. You think & act intentionally and ask God to help transform your mind. You set goals and know you will achieve them, and then in fact do. (Remember, repeated thoughts become belief. And sometimes our belief in God & His greater plan are the models we choose to live out.)
2. Unintentional living You’re moving through life, taking it as it comes. You feel overwhelmed, frustrated, out of control, powerless, confused at how to make your life work the way you want. You may find yourself thinking things like “When will it ever change?” “Will it ever get better?” “Why does this stuff keep happening to me?”
“Why does everyone in my life take advantage of me (or fill in the blank!)”
3. You’re somewhere in between Maybe all this is new information and no-one’s ever told you that you can change your thoughts to change your life. It sounds like both freedom and responsibility (because it is!) and you’re intrigued and want to know more.
Self Coaching vs. Coaching
Running models and self-coaching allows us to see the models we are creating and then decide powerfully if we want to keep living in them. But if you want to reach your goals, you have to get good at knowing your models. You have to be intentional about pulling your thoughts apart and deciding how you want to show up in this world. (And the next!) Choose who you want to be and how you want to think. (Watch for a future blog with specifics on how to self coach!)
There are two models (thoughts) to focus on when working toward changing a habit or creating a goal: 1. Your model (thoughts) about your goal. 2. Your model (thoughts) about creating it.
So why get coaching if I can do it myself?
Someone recently asked why I’m “giving all this great info. away for free”. She was concerned that by sharing all this, people may not hire me as their coach. But I know the truth. This information is a gift that fees people. I want everyone to have it! (Throw it around like confetti!) And people don’t buy information. The Googles can tell you anything you want to know and it won’t cost a cent. While you can certainly make huge strides by coaching yourself, the BIGGEST change comes when we apply what we’ve learned and have someone to point out our blind spots.
Most of our models are unconscious. We can only coach on ourselves in the area of self-awareness. But it’s the thoughts we think are “facts” until someone challenges whether it’s true, that trip us up the most. One sneaky thought creates a cycle that keeps us from our dreams.
I work models daily with my clients. You can get started with yours now. The sooner you get started, the sooner you achieve your goals. The sooner you start living big and stop playing small. The sooner you take charge of your life.
Come to a free consult and see what it’s like for yourself. You won’t regret it.