The Uninspired Mind

You know that feeling when everything in your life is fine, but something still feels off? You know what you should be doing, but you just don’t feel like it. You’re not necessarily unhappy—you’re just not excited about anything.

Maybe you’ve got a craft room that’s packed full of supplies, but the motivation to create something just isn’t there. Maybe you’re in a season of transition, like leaving a job, and you’re unsure what’s next. Or perhaps, like one client I recently spoke with, life is going well, yet you still feel a strange lack of inspiration.

Feeling uninspired is more common than we realize, and it doesn’t mean something is wrong with you. It simply means your mind, body, and spirit are signaling for something new. The good news? Inspiration isn’t something we have to wait for—it’s something we can cultivate.

In this post, we’ll explore why we feel inspired, why we sometimes don’t, and—most importantly—how to reignite that spark when it feels like it’s gone missing.

What Inspires Us

Inspiration isn’t random—it’s a psychological and neurological process that lights up specific areas of the brain. When we feel inspired, we experience a surge of dopamine, the neurotransmitter associated with motivation, pleasure, and goal-directed behavior. This is why inspiration often brings a sense of excitement, clarity, and purpose.

The Science of Inspiration

Research in psychology suggests that inspiration has three key components:

1. Evocation – Inspiration is often sparked by something external—a conversation, a story, an experience, or even a simple shift in perspective.
2. Transcendence – We’re lifted beyond our current limitations, allowing us to see new possibilities and dream bigger.
3. Motivation to Act – True inspiration doesn’t just stay in our minds; it propels us forward, making us want to create, grow, or pursue something meaningful.

What Sparks Inspiration?

People often feel inspired when they experience:

• Novelty – New surroundings, ideas, or experiences can refresh our thinking.
• Purpose – Feeling connected to something bigger than ourselves fuels long-term inspiration.
• Creativity – Engaging in creative activities (even if they aren’t related to our goals) can awaken inspiration in other areas of life.
• Resonance – Witnessing someone else’s journey, hearing a powerful message, or reading something that deeply aligns with us can spark inspiration in an instant.

Understanding how inspiration works is key to cultivating it on demand instead of waiting for it to show up. Next, we’ll explore why inspiration sometimes fades—and what to do about it.

Why We Feel Uninspired

We are created in the image of a creative God, designed to dream, build, and bring new ideas to life. So why do we sometimes feel like inspiration is completely out of reach? This lackluster mood can make us question ourselves. Do I have anything meaningful to offer? Is my life really this boring? Why do I feel so stuck? The truth is inspiration isn’t something we either “have” or “don’t have”—it’s something that can be nurtured and reignited. Often, the reason we feel uninspired isn’t random; it’s a sign that something deeper needs our attention.

Common Causes of Feeling Uninspired

🔹 Routine & Predictability – When life becomes repetitive, our brains go on autopilot. Without new stimuli, there’s nothing to spark fresh ideas or excitement.

🔹 Mental Overload & Stress – If your mind is cluttered with to-do lists, responsibilities, or worries, there’s little room for creativity and inspiration to flourish.

🔹 Lack of Rest or Play – Constant productivity without moments of joy, playfulness, or rest can drain us. Inspiration often emerges in moments of stillness or fun, not just in hard work.

🔹 Disconnection from Purpose – When we lose sight of why we’re doing something, motivation dwindles. A sense of purpose fuels long-term inspiration.

🔹 Fear & Self-Doubt – Sometimes, we want to take action, but a deeper fear holds us back—fear of failure, judgment, or not being good enough.

🔹 Comparison & Perfectionism – Scrolling through social media or constantly measuring ourselves against others can leave us feeling unmotivated and discouraged rather than inspired.

How to Recognize When You’re in an ‘Uninspired Rut’

Feeling uninspired isn’t always obvious. Here are a few signs that you might be stuck:

✔️ You feel restless but aren’t sure what you want.
✔️ You procrastinate on things you know you want to do.
✔️ You feel like you’re just “going through the motions.”
✔️ You keep waiting for motivation to strike, but it never comes.

The good news? Inspiration isn’t lost forever—it just needs a reset. Next, we’ll explore how to reignite that spark and get back into a flow of creativity, motivation, and purpose.

How to Reignite Inspiration

Feeling uninspired doesn’t mean you’ve lost your creativity or passion—it just means you need a spark. Inspiration thrives when we intentionally create space for it, and it often expands after just one tiny spark! Here are practical ways to ignite that flame.

1. Change Your Environment

A simple shift in surroundings can work wonders.

🔹 Get outside – Or if you’re in a cold climate like me, LOOK outside or bring the outdoors in. Nature naturally awakens creativity and curiosity. A walk in the fresh air, a sunrise, or even the sound of birds can stir something new within you.
🔹 Switch up your workspace – Rearranging your desk, adding fresh flowers, or even working from a coffee shop can bring a fresh perspective.
🔹 Take a break from screens – Digital overload dulls creativity. Unplug for a bit and allow your mind to breathe.

2. Seek Out New Experiences

Inspiration often comes from the unexpected. If you’re feeling stagnant, introduce something new into your routine.

🔹 Try a new hobby – Painting, cooking a new recipe, or even learning a dance move can spark joy. Even flipping through magazines or books that showcase hobbies can create fresh excitement and ideas.
🔹 Read or listen to something outside your norm – Pick up a book in a different genre, listen to a thought-provoking podcast, or watch a documentary on a topic you know nothing about.
🔹 Take a short trip – Even a weekend getaway or exploring a nearby town can shift your mindset. Applied in the simplest way, I sometimes step away from my work to walk our pups around the block, or to just go watch them romp in the backyard together, before jumping back in.

3. Connect with Others

Sometimes, we need people to reignite our fire.

🔹 Have a deep conversation – Talking with someone who inspires you can bring fresh insight.
🔹 Join a group or community – Surrounding yourself with creative, motivated people naturally pulls you out of a rut.
🔹 Serve others – Volunteering or simply helping a friend can shift your focus and bring renewed energy. A balanced life includes pouring out as well as being poured into. That flow of energy and focus can refill and inspire us when we need it most.

4. Revisit Your “Why”

Lack of inspiration often comes from losing sight of what drives us. There’s neuroscience behind taking intentional time to think about what you want and why you want it. Unlike the popular secular “law of attraction” which implies a magically-woo formula for getting what you want, science shows that focusing our brain on what we want and why, as well as visualizing that process is like mentally rehearsing the outcome. When we set our intentions, the brain more easily recalls our goals and driving motivators when we’re faced with related options throughout the day.

🔹 Ask yourself: Why did I start this? What impact do I want to make? Why is this something I’m (still) choosing to pursue?
🔹 Look back at past successes – Remind yourself of times you did feel inspired and what fueled that passion.
🔹 Pray and reflect – Spending time in prayer, journaling, or meditating on scripture can help realign your heart with God’s purpose for you.

5. Take Small, Imperfect Action

Inspiration doesn’t always come before action—often, it follows it.

🔹 Start small – If you’re waiting to feel motivated before taking action, flip the script. Do something tiny to build momentum.
🔹 Don’t wait for perfection – The first step doesn’t need to be flawless; it just needs to happen. I once heard that famous author Stephen King attributes his success and number of best-sellers to his self-enforced rule that he must write 1000 words per day. That’s any thousand words; not the “best” or the “right” ones. King knows that often just that first action is all it takes to breathe life into the inspiration needed to continue.  
🔹 Celebrate progress – Acknowledge even the smallest wins to keep motivation going.

There’s a caveat to this step! Focusing only on actions will only lead to short-term success. Why? Because actions don’t cause feelings; our thoughts about our actions do! So, take the small steps, but then reflect on that action in a way that inspires you forward. (If I did that, what else is possible?!”)

6. Prioritize Rest & Play

Inspiration flourishes when we’re refreshed.

🔹 Give yourself permission to rest – Burnout kills creativity. Take time to recharge without guilt. If you’re resting while thinking you should be doing something else, you steal from yourself and the process.
🔹 Do something fun—just for the sake of it – Play a game, laugh with a friend, or dance in your kitchen. Doodle while watching a favorite show. Joy fuels inspiration.
🔹 Practice gratitude – Noticing the good in your life shifts your mindset and makes space for new ideas.

7. Ask God for Fresh Vision

As the ultimate Creator, God is the source of all inspiration.

🔹 Ask for guidance – Pray for fresh vision and trust that inspiration will come in the right time.
🔹 Read scripture for encouragement – Verses like Isaiah 43:19 (“See, I am doing a new thing!”) remind us that God is always at work, even when we feel stuck. Here again, simply reading or saying something to yourself (both actions) will only produce short term benefits unless you believe them. (Ultimately, our thoughts are what create our emotions.)
🔹 Surrender the pressure – You don’t have to force inspiration. Sometimes, the best thing you can do is let go and trust the process.

Creating an Inspiration Vault

When inspiration feels distant, it can help to have a system in place to rekindle it. Your Inspiration Vault acts as a safety net, ensuring you always have a well of motivation to draw from when you need it most.

• A “Wins” Journal – Keep a notebook or digital document with small and big accomplishments, breakthroughs, and moments of joy. This might include emails/notes from others who have been inspired by your work, words, or example.
• A Playlist of Motivational Songs, quotes, etc. – Music and powerful messages can instantly shift your mindset.
• A “Lightbulb” List or “Swipe File”– A running list of ideas, even half-formed ones, to revisit when you need a spark. Collect examples, clippings, etc. of work, art, or ideas that excite you—whether it’s design, writing, or business ideas.
• Vision Board – Whether in a Pinterest board, scrapbook, or a poster board on your wall, make a visual collection of words, phrases, and pictures of meaningful experiences, achievements, or places that make you feel alive.
• An “Energy List” – A list of activities, places, or people that energize and inspire you. When feeling stuck, choose something from the list.

Reigniting inspiration isn’t about waiting for a magical burst of energy—it’s about creating space for it to grow. The more we intentionally invite inspiration into our lives, the more naturally it flows.

Bringing Inspiration Back: Key Takeaways & Next Steps

Inspiration isn’t something we either have or don’t have—it’s something we cultivate. Feeling uninspired doesn’t mean you’re stuck forever or that you lack purpose. It simply signals that something needs attention, whether it’s your mindset, your environment, or your connection to what truly fuels you.

Key Takeaways to Reignite Inspiration:

✅ Recognize that inspiration isn’t lost—it just needs nurturing. You were designed to create, dream, and build. Feeling uninspired is temporary.
✅ Change your environment and seek new experiences. A fresh perspective often comes from stepping outside of routine.
✅ Surround yourself with inspiring people. Conversations, community, and service can spark new motivation.
✅ Revisit your “why.” Reflect on what excites you, what God has placed in your heart, and the impact you want to make.
✅ Take small, imperfect action. You don’t need to wait for inspiration—sometimes, doing is what brings it back.
✅ Prioritize rest, play, and gratitude. A well-rested mind and a joyful spirit naturally open the door to creativity.
✅ Ask God for fresh vision. He is the ultimate source of inspiration, always leading us toward new growth.

Take a moment right now to reflect—what’s one small thing you can do today to invite inspiration back into your life? Maybe it’s stepping outside, reconnecting with a friend, or journaling about your dreams. Whatever it is, take that step. Inspiration follows action.

Ready to Bring Inspiration Back Into Your Life?

You don’t have to stay stuck in a season of feeling uninspired. With small, intentional shifts, you can reignite your creativity, motivation, and sense of purpose. If you’re ready to take the next step, here’s how I can help:

🔹 Get my free guide: The Intentional Mind Daily Planner – A powerful tool to help you anchor your thoughts, cultivate inspiration, and move forward with clarity. Download it here!

🔹 Work with me one-on-one – If you’re looking for deeper guidance in this season, I offer coaching to help you gain clarity, manage your emotions, and create an intentional, joy-filled life. Let’s connect!

No matter where you are right now, remember this: you were created to live with purpose. Inspiration isn’t something you have to chase—it’s something you can create. Take the first step today. ❤️🙏🏼🧠

The post Feeling Uninspired? Here’s Why It Happens and How to Get Your Spark Back appeared first on Rise Coaching.

The Hidden Cost of Always Being the Strong One

As a therapist, I’m used to people coming to me when they’re hurting and I’m happy to be there for them. But when one of my adult children was recently diagnosed with a condition that completely changed the way I saw our future, it has been devastating and at times, isolating. I suddenly found myself on the other side of the calls and texts I was used to being part of.

At first, I told only close family members and said nothing to friends. But carrying something that heavy takes its toll, and his diagnosis caused interruptions in my life to the point where I felt I needed to offer some explanation for my distance (both physically and mentally) to friends as well. As I started opening up, my shared bits and pieces were met with a wide range of responses. Some surprised me with hurtful comments, but most overwhelmed me with their compassion and support. 

As his illness brings its cycles of chaos and calm, I’m still learning how to navigate. There are times I’ve declined invites without sharing the raw emotions keeping me secluded, and other times I know I’ve overshared, feeling overwhelmed and helpless to his disease. There are friends I lean on so heavily that I have to intentionally weigh how often I share my struggles, making sure to ask about details in their lives. I appreciate them beyond words and want to show up for them, too.

This experience has opened my eyes to a struggle so many of us face: when and how to share what we’re going through, and how to create friendships that feel mutual rather than one-sided.

Maybe you’ve been in this place too—unsure of how much to share, afraid of burdening others, or realizing a friendship has started to feel lopsided. Or maybe you’re on the other side of the coin—someone who leans on your friends often but hasn’t thought much about how that dynamic might feel for them.

Wherever you find yourself, this is a nuanced topic, so let’s explore how we can navigate this well, honoring both our need for support and the importance of reciprocity in our friendship. In this post, we’ll explore: 

☑️ The hidden cost of always being the strong one

☑️ Why asking for help doesn’t make you weak

☑️ How emotional imbalance strains friendships

☑️  Practical steps to open up and strengthen your relationships

Being the strong one in your friendships may feel like an honor at first. You’re the go-to person, the one who others rely on for support. But over time, this role comes with hidden costs that affect both you and your relationships.

The Unspoken Imbalance

Being an emotional rock for others can feel fulfilling and purposeful. But if you never share your own struggles, your friends might start to think they’re the only one who ever needs support. They might also feel like they can’t relate to you on a deeper level because your life seems so perfect compared to theirs. Meanwhile, you might start feeling resentful or taken for granted when people stop asking how you’re doing. Both aspects of this imbalance can create distance over time, often without either person realizing what’s causing it.

The Pressure to Keep Up Appearances

If you’ve built a reputation as the one who “has it all together,” the idea of opening up can feel uncomfortable—even risky. You might worry that being vulnerable will change how others see you, or that they won’t know how to respond. In reality, it’s this very image that can create distance in the friendship. When your friends only see the “strong” you, they might start to assume everything’s great in your life—leaving you to silently carry the weight of your own problems as they stop asking about your life. Over time, you may begin to feel inauthentic, as if you’ve given a false impression that your life is perfect when it’s not. This pressure to maintain an image of strength can make it even harder to reach out when you genuinely need support.

Missed Opportunities for True Connection

The strongest friendships are built on shared vulnerability and support. If you never allow yourself to be vulnerable, your friends might feel like they can’t relate to you on a deeper level. It’s also worth pointing out that difficult times are often when our true spirit—our priorities, values, and character—shine through. By sharing your struggles, you invite deeper, more meaningful relationships—ones where you are valued not just for what you give, but for who you are.

Why We Struggle to Ask for Support

Revisiting a conversation is a sign of growth—especially when taking responsibility for your side of the conversation. Being So, if being vulnerable and asking for help strengthens relationships, why is it so hard to do? The truth is, many of us have internalized beliefs that make it feel uncomfortable—even unsafe—to rely on others.

1. Fear of Being a Burden

One of the biggest reasons people hesitate to share their struggles is the worry that they’ll be too much for others. You might think, They have their own problems—I don’t want to add mine. But true friendships aren’t about keeping score; they’re about mutual care and support.

2. Conditioning from Childhood or Past Experiences

Many of our beliefs about asking for help come from how we were raised. If you grew up in an environment where emotions were downplayed, or you were praised for being independent, you may have learned that relying on others is a sign of weakness. Similarly, if you’ve opened up before and been met with indifference or rejection, you may hesitate to try again.

3. The “Strong Friend” Identity

When you’re used to being the one others lean on, it can feel disorienting to reverse roles. You might think, If I’m not the rock, then who am I? Over time, this identity can become a trap, making it harder to express your own struggles without feeling like you’re letting others down.

4. Perfectionism and the Need for Control

For some, asking for help feels like admitting failure. If you take pride in being self-sufficient, opening up about your struggles might feel like you’re losing control. It’s easy to view our friends’ vulnerability as a sign of trust, yet see our own as weakness!

5. Fear of Rejection or Judgment

What if you open up to them and they don’t “show up” for you? What if they disappoint you or seem uncomfortable? These fears are valid, but they also rob others from the opportunity to show up with genuine compassion and maybe even some insight that you’ve been looking for. Further more-it robs you both of a deeper connection going forward!

The Truth: You Don’t Have to Carry It Alone

Breaking these patterns takes time, but the first step is recognizing that your needs matter just as much as anyone else’s. True friendship isn’t about always being strong—it’s about being real.

How This Creates Distance in Friendships

When you always play the role of the strong one, you may think you’re protecting your friendships. In reality, this pattern can create an invisible barrier between you and the people who care about you. Here’s how:

1. Friends May Assume You Don’t Need Them

If you never open up about your struggles, your friends may assume you’re doing just fine. They might even feel like they’re the ones who always need support, while you’re the one who has it all together. This can make them hesitant to reach out, unintentionally leaving you feeling isolated.

2. It Can Create Resentment (Even If Unintended)

While you may take pride in being the reliable one, constantly carrying the emotional load can be exhausting. Over time, you might start feeling unappreciated or even resentful—wondering why no one checks in on you. The problem isn’t that your friends don’t care; it’s that they don’t know you need them, because you’ve never given them the chance.

3. Deep Connection Requires Vulnerability

The most meaningful friendships are strengthened in the moments when we let others see us in our struggles and when we have relatively equal opportunity to support others as well. When we’re forever supporting but never leaning, your friends may feel like they don’t really know you in the same way you know them. This can make the friendship feel surface-level, even if they care deeply about you. Over time, this can create emotional distance, never reaching the depth that lasting relationships require. 

The Power of Vulnerability: Why Letting Others In Matters

True connection isn’t built on strength alone—it thrives on mutual trust, support, and authenticity. When you allow yourself to be vulnerable, you deepen your friendships in powerful ways:

• Mutual Support Strengthens Bonds – The most meaningful friendships have a natural give-and-take. Letting others support you, just as you support them, creates a more balanced and fulfilling connection. This includes sharing your successes with friends too, which can feel equally vulnerable!
• Being Seen Builds Trust – People feel closest to those who have seen all sides of them. Sharing your struggles invites deeper emotional connection and turns casual friendships into lifelong bonds.
• It Allows Others to Feel Useful Too – Just as you feel valued when helping a friend, they also want to be there for you. Opening up gives them the chance to show up in the same way, strengthening your relationship.

By letting others in, you create space for genuine, lasting friendships—ones where you’re valued not just for what you give, but for who you truly are.H3. Invite Dialogue and Connection

How to Change The Pattern

Letting others in doesn’t have to be an all-or-nothing approach. You can begin by taking small steps to open up and allow others to support you. Here are a few ways to do it:

1. Start Small and Practice Vulnerability Gradually

You don’t have to spill your deepest secrets all at once. Start with smaller things—share how you’re feeling about a current challenge or ask for help with something practical. Over time, these small acts of vulnerability will strengthen your friendships.

2. Share Your Needs and Desires

Don’t assume people know what you need. Be honest about your desires and what you’d like in terms of support. Whether it’s emotional encouragement or just someone to listen, let your friends know how they can show up for you.

3. Reframe Vulnerability as an Opportunity for Connection

Rather than seeing asking for support as a burden, reframe it as an opportunity to deepen your friendships. Remember, they likely want to support you, just as you’ve supported them in the past.

4. Don’t Be Afraid to Lean on Others

Sometimes, we hesitate to reach out because we fear rejection. But chances are, your friends want to be there for you, just as you’re there for them. Allowing yourself to lean on others is a way to honor the strength in your relationships.

5. Recognize That You Don’t Have to Do Everything Alone

It’s okay to not have everything figured out. Life can be overwhelming, and asking for help doesn’t make you weak—it makes you human. Embrace the vulnerability that comes with leaning on those you trust.

Wrap up and Application

One final thought—The Flip Side of the Coin

I want to briefly acknowledge that you may actually be on the opposite side of this coin. If you’ve come to recognize the value of getting support from others, and easily share your problems with friends, I hope this blog offers some insight on how to evaluate whether an imbalance may be harming your friendships. You’re ahead of the game with vulnerability in friendships but be sure you’re also showing up for your friends—not just as someone who needs them, but as someone who values them and who cares deeply about their experiences too.

You may have spent years believing your role was to be the strong one—the steady, reliable friend who always gives support but rarely receives it. But true friendships thrive on mutual trust and openness. Letting others in isn’t a burden; it’s a gift that deepens connection and allows both of you to feel truly seen.

What would it look like to share just a little more of the hard parts of your life with friends?

The next time you’re tempted to carry something alone, pause. Take a deep breath, reach out, and let someone be there for you. Because you deserve the same support you so freely give—and your friendships will be stronger because of it.

Share & Start the Conversation

IIf this post resonated with you, chances are you’re not alone. Maybe you have a friend who always shows up for others but struggles to ask for support. Or maybe you’ve realized you are that friend.

Take a simple but powerful first step: share this post with a friend. Let it be the start of an honest conversation about what it means to truly support each other.

And if you’re ready to break this cycle and start building deeper, more balanced friendships, I’d love to hear from you! Connect with me here You’re not meant to do life alone. 

The post Letting Others In: Why Always Being the Strong One Pushes Friends Away appeared first on Rise Coaching.

This week, I sat with a woman who was upset by a family member’s social media post that stated, “You don’t need to be perfect. I love & accept you as you are.”

When I asked why she was bothered by this, she stated that the person who posted it doesn’t accept her.

“In fact”, she added, “he’s super judgmental. He excludes people and picks & chooses who’s acceptable in his eyes.” 

When the conversation changed fifteen minutes later, I was puzzled when she made a statement that I felt was very unloving, exclusive, and judgmental of a minority group.

I was truly baffled. How did she not see that she was behaving exactly as she’d just described someone else?

(And wait…wasn’t I being judgmental now?!)

We all have parts of ourselves that others see, while we cannot.

Whenever someone tells me that “Christians are hypocrites” I validate their view and add that they certainly can be. Because Christians are human, and humans can be hypocritical. 

But while often see “hypocrites” as people who are behaving badly, few understand how the brain itself causes hypocritical behaviors within us.

There’s actually a psychology theory that can help explain this bizarre tendency of ours.

It’s called the Johari Window.

Imagine a window frame containing four panes–each with its own little window shade that can be drawn open or closed at any given time.

Each window pane represents a different view into our soul (our beliefs, character, behavior, personality, etc.).

There are parts of us that we keep private and other parts that we express openly to others. And of course, when we draw the shades depends also depends on who it is that’s looking into us. (I’m much more likely to be vulnerable with someone who feels safe.)

But have you considered what parts of yourself you keep hidden from yourself?

Each quadrant of the Johari Window represents the parts of us that are known by ourselves and by others. For example, when both I and others describe me as shy & quiet, this would be the “open/known” parts of myself. 

Whereas if I survived a trauma that now makes me highly anxious when around people, but I hide this well from others, we’re referring to a “Private/hidden” part of the self (a facade).

It’s possible that we’re unaware of things that happened to us during infancy and their ongoing impacts to our life). These things which are also unseen by others are the “unknown” parts of self.

Awareness is key.

You can’t change what you don’t acknowledge.

So how do we fix things we’re not even aware of?

How do we “see” our blindspots?

Thankfully, there are things we can do to increase our self-awareness so that we’re not operating in the dark!

Every spring in Wisconsin, yard signs are posted saying, “Start seeing motorcycles!” 

People laugh about this, saying “How can I see something I don’t see?!”

But these signs have been proven to decrease cycle/car accidents, because psychology shows that we’re more likely to see something when we’re actively looking for it!

 

How to open your blind(spot)s:

🧠 Watch for your blindspots and acknowledge that you have them.

This one simple step will open your mind to watching for areas where you may be missing the bigger picture. 

 

🧠 Fact-check your thoughts. 

When you notice yourself having a strong reaction to something (mentally, emotionally, or physically), make a list of all of your thoughts about what’s happened (without editing). When you’ve finished, fact-check them. Ask yourself, “What would someone who believes the opposite say about this?” to broaden your perspective.

🧠 Ask others for feedback.

Asking others how they perceive you can give you incredible insight into behaviors that you’re completely unaware of.  Be sure to ask those with varying degrees of closeness to you. While your spouse has come to know your heart and your intentions over time (therefore seeing you through that lens), those who know you more casually will likely have a more subjective view of your behaviors. They’re more likely to notice your general moods, tone of voice, etc. Hearing these things can help you understand the “first impression” (and those that follow) that you give to others.

🧠 Get a second opinion.

When someone comments about your personality or character, don’t be afraid to ask what gave them that impression. This is especially helpful when you feel misunderstood. Asking someone who knows you well whether they can see how someone got this impression may add further information.

🧠 Hire a coach.

If you’ve been trying to change or do something for an extended time, without success, it’s very possible that a blind spot is holding you back.  Having a subjective person to share their observations and challenge your perspective can be incredibly beneficial. I’ve experienced this multiple times in my own life, as well as regularly with clients. (There’s nothing like witnessing a “light-bulb moment” where a person suddenly sees what was previously kept in the dark!)

 

There are two things I’ve learned about how people present themselves to the world.

Those with high self-awareness are generally pretty regulated and often other-aware as well.  But those who are highly aware (AKA critical) of others tend to be highly unaware when it comes to themselves.  And we can all increase our awareness by shedding a little light in the places we’ve seldom tended to in the past.

Ask your Creator to shine some light in the dark places, so you can show up as the beautiful human He created you to be. 🙂

Let me hold the flashlight for you...

Schedule a free consultation call to understand how your blindspots may be holding you back.

There’s no pressure and no commitment.

Just information. 

Schedule now

The post Hypocritical Blindspots appeared first on Rise Coaching.

Insinuation Anxiety: noun
A worry that not agreeing with someone’s choices implies criticism
of how they are managing pandemic life.
— Counseling Today (November 2020)

There are a few additional definitions available, explaining various versions of the same trend- the fear that by wearing a mask or socially distancing, you could be misunderstood. This fear is based on the fact that the other person involved might think you’re implying that they’re unsafe, a danger to be around, or worse yet–have poor discussion making skills or lack intelligence.

You’ve probably seen this anxiety or perhaps even had bouts of it yourself. If you’re not familiar with the fear, just take a look at some of the conversations out on Facebook and you’ll quickly recognize it lurking there.

But this topic intrigued me for another reason too.

Lately, I’ve noticed an increase in people’s stress and anxiety in general when someone else disagrees with them or has thoughts different from their own.  This isn’t just about the pandemic, although it could be a side effect of it. We humans have a natural propensity to feel threatened when people disagree with us. Why is that?

Emotional (Or Physical) Danger

There’s a theory that says that because humans were once heavily dependent on one another for survival, our brains are wired to sense fear when we’re at risk of being “on the outs” with society. Centuries ago, it was a literal threat to be ostracized from the tribe.  Being banished from the group meant we’d be on our own and vulnerable to attack by predators, and less successful at hunting the food we’d need to survive. While it’s unlikely that being disapproved of by your friends or family would result in death today, this theory says we were created with an internal warning system that hasn’t evolved along with the rest of our brain and thinking, so we continue to be overly sensitive to the approval of others.

We Were Made For Relationship

I’m not so sure that humans just “evolved” in order to survive as a species, but I do believe that our Creator made us with brains that are capable of adapting as the universe evolves. And I for sure believe that we were created for relationship. After all, not only did God create us to be in relationship with Him, but He also made it clear that He wants us to be in relation with others.  Genesis says He thought the world was “very good”…until he saw Adam all alone.  Nope. “No good,” He said, and went back to work to remedy the dilemma. We were made to relate to and connect with each other. Whether we like it or not, it does matter to us what others think.

So how do we hold this in check so it doesn’t become unhealthy? If we spend our lives focussing on what others think of us, and worrying about how to change their opinions of us, we’ll likely feel emotionally exhausted in addition to feeling threatened! When others think you’re wrong or question your judgement, you can see how easy it would be to begin living for others in an unhealthy way.

Assessing What Matters

As usual, the answer is found by assessing our thoughts and feelings. Often times, physiological sensations in the body are our first clue that something is wrong with our thinking. Check in with your body. What are you feeling? What do you notice? For many people, a sensation of heat or tightness in their shoulders and chest signifies nervousness, fear, or anxiety. Others notice a “knot” in their stomach or nausea. The better you are at recognizing and labeling the feeling, the faster you’ll be able to get to the thought that’s causing it.

Here are some key questions you can ask yourself to help you to stand in confidence rather than fear.

• What am I really afraid of here?
• What’s at stake? How does what they think impact me?
• Do I value this person’s opinion?
• Do I value his/her values? Do their values match mine?
• Are there areas of my life where it’s okay to not see eye-to-eye with this person?
• Can I give this person the grace and freedom to think differently than me?

As I said, it’s highly unlikely that your well-being is at risk if another person disagrees with you or has a perspective that is different than yours. Reminding yourself of this at the time can support your parasympathetic nervous system in calming you down. It can also be helpful to remind yourself that you have options. You can:

• Agree to disagree
• Explain your thought process or how you arrived at your decision/conclusion
• Decline to explain your reasoning
• Ask to change the conversation to a different topic
• End the conversation completely
• Create distance (either temporarily or permanently)
• “Let them” be wrong about you

It’s okay to let people be wrong about you.

One of my favorite freeing thoughts is this: “It’s okay for people to be wrong about me.” While I can say this with confidence now, it took quite some time before I fully believed it. I had to build up to the thought with “smaller” thoughts like, “Maybe someday I’ll be able to let people be wrong about me” and “I’m working on allowing others to be wrong about me.”

While we can certainly influence what others think of us by how we behave, we can never control their thoughts. In fact, what someone else thinks about you or your decisions often says far more about them than it does about you! As I frequently remind clients, “What others think about you is really none of your business.” 🙂

Whether we’re talking about the pandemic, or a completely random topic, I’m willing to bet you’re doing just fine.  I’ll assume you’re doing the best you can, with what you know….but then again, those are just my thoughts about you! 😉

Eager to join Rising Soul when doors reopen? Join the waitlist. I can’t wait to see you inside!

If you’re someone who values the journey of living an abundant life (mentally, spiritually, financial, and relationally) with Christ at the center of it all, come join an amazing group of like-minded women doing the same! Registration opens the last week of December and we jump into the first month’s content on January 1st!

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The post Why Other People’s Opinions Matter appeared first on Rise Coaching.

They were impressed. They talked among themselves about how it would improve the security of their product and how well they expect it to be received by their end customer and the innovation it would bring. There was just one thing they couldn’t get past. These trays get shipped to their customers in boxes…which they already had a large supply of. Finally, the CEO who had been listening quietly spoke up. “Are we seriously talking about boxes?” “You’re right.” Someone said. “Scrap the boxes. This is going to change everything!”

What my husband shared as just a recap of his day was a little gold nugget that I shared with the members of Rising Soul. We’ve been talking about our identities this month. The story made me think of the boxes we put ourselves in. We look to our past to see what’s possible in our lives. We get hung up on minuscule details and allow them to prevent us from change. We let all the lies we’ve believed and the identity we’ve adopted (from the world–not from our Creator!) box us in and keep us from growing and expanding.

How often do you box yourself in with your own thoughts about yourself and what you’re capable of?

“I am terrible at math”

“I’m not smart enough.”

“I could never do that.”

“I’m not strong enough to handle this.”

“I’m confused.”

“I’m not good with money and budgeting.”

God is bigger than any limitations that we can box ourselves into. This means we’re capable of so much more than we realize…because God can do all things in and through us!

Of course, not all things need to be changeable. But it’s possible they could…whether with practice or a change in thoughts and actions.

The problem is that humans have what’s known by psychologists as a cognitive bias.  It means our brain is always looking for evidence of what it already believes is true. (It’s also the scientific explanation for the self-fulfilling prophecy.) A belief is nothing more than a thought we’ve thought so many times that our brain accepts it as reality and no longer checks for evidence to the contrary.

Another problem with this is that God is bigger than any limitations that we can box ourselves into. This means we’re capable of so much more than we realize…because God can do all things in and through us!

This morning I was reading in Acts where Paul gave an account of his life while standing on trial.  He told the King and the crowd that he was raised Jewish and had been taught by the best teachers all throughout childhood.  He was a member of the strictest sect of the Jewish religion- living as a Pharisee until he was old enough to take the road hunting down Christians.  He admitted that he even held the coats for people as they stoned a man to death!  And then…he went on to share the story of how he met Jesus one day on the road to Damascus, and how Jesus had changed him completely–from murderer to messenger.

Thank God (literally!) that Paul didn’t allow his past to box him in. 

Instead, he found freedom.

A new way of being.

A life that looked nothing like the one he left behind.

Sure, others tried to keep him in the box he’d put himself in.  Some preferred he stay there.  “Wait!” Some said, “Isn’t this the guy who ran around killing people? Do we really trust this guy enough to listen to what’s he’s got to say?”  I may be taking some liberty here with my translation, but the point is that it’s natural to hang onto what we’ve believed of ourselves- and others-in the past, in order to anticipate the future.  By doing so, we run the risk of limiting ourselves or resisting the change that God has in store for us!

The next time you catch yourself identifying your abilities or character by your past, stop and ask yourself:

1. Is this really true?
2. Are there exceptions?
3. What if God could change this about me?
4. what may He be trying to do in or through me?

Then scrap the box, knowing God can change anything!

Need help breaking out of that box?  Join us in the Rising Soul monthly membership where we deep dive into a different topic each month to get intentional about living the abundant life we were created for. 

Click here to learn more and join the waitlist so you don’t miss out when doors reopen next!

The post Breaking Out of Boxes appeared first on Rise Coaching.

One of the hardest tasks of reaching “emotional adulthood” is learning to separate fault from responsibility.  This is partly due to definitions that exist, which use the two words interchangeably.  In the context of taking ownership of your life, however, these are two very different things.  Fault implies blame- the cause of an effect.  But responsibility can be an empowering gift that allows us to regain control of a circumstance-even when it’s not something we wanted or asked for.  Responsibility involves being accountable for what is within our power/control.  And of course that’s limited to just three things:  Our thoughts, feelings and actions.

Let’s start “easy”

If I damage a parked car with my grocery cart, I am at fault.  And the law says I am responsible for the damages.  If I choose to become a parent, I am legally responsible for the care of my children until they turn 18.  Obvious, right?  In all of the above circumstances, I am in control of my own actions.  This makes “accepting” the responsibility pretty easy.  But what about when the choice is not ours?  When we are not at fault.  When the circumstance was completely out of our control and never “should have” happened?

Not so “easy”

If my job is eliminated my without notice and I have bills to pay, the loss of income is not my fault, but it is my responsibility.  If a tree falls on my neighbor’s roof during a storm, it is not my fault, but I’m responsible for the damages.  If my boss sexually harasses me at work, this is not my fault.  But responding to it is my responsibility. 

The problem with making someone else the villain is that

it always leaves you the victim.

And victims are stripped of all their power.

Some people balk at this idea.  They respond with anger and want to know why they should have to be responsible for someone else’s choices.  The reality is that not everything can be accounted for.  (Who do we hold accountable for tornadoes and illness?)  Another hard truth is that those who victimize don’t care about their victims and likely won’t ever.  So if they do not care or hold the ability to help us become “unstuck”, what then? Are we just at the mercy of whatever happens to us?

Only you have the ability to control what you choose how to react to your circumstances.  In his autobiography, Man’s Search for Meaning, Viktor Frankl tells his story of surviving  four concentration camps during the Holocaust, where his brother, parents, wife and unborn baby were all murdered.  Frankl taught that the only way to avoid suffering in response to circumstances which are out of our control, is by being responsible.

If a man of such suffering is able to say this with confidence and from experience, I believe it is possible for us to do the same.  While challenging in the moment, we can all choose our response.  I would rather hold responsibility and control than to remain “stuck” in a place where I feel

powerless and at the mercy of my circumstance. This choice opens me up to think new thoughts that I was closed off to at the time of victimization or hurt. it allows me to respond from a place of intentionality rather than reactivity. It allows me to think and act in a way that aligns with my morals and values and who I am called to be. I still get it wrong plenty. That’s part of the human experience too. But we have the responsibility to keep on trying.

Not sure how to apply this to your own life?  Why not do a mini session with me?

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Every morning, my husband wakes me by bringing us coffee in bed. (Sorry, he’s taken.) We typically spend an hour sipping while we each read our own devotions , poking each other whenever we come across something to discuss.  This morning, he got tripped up by a quote that said “Nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent.” He’s a literal man, this husband of mine, so he wanted to know how Coolidge knew this statistic and who defines success.  

The world of coaching is steeped in talk of “success”.  It’s the reason it took interviewing five coaches before I hired mine.  I wanted someone to help me manage my mind, take action so I could help other women live the lives they were created for.  I found lots of coaches who knew the tricks of the trade to becoming “successful” at this new world of online marketing, but I just couldn’t see through their distorted lens that defined “success” and “abundance” from only a  worldly perspective.  I didn’t want to become someone who’s more focused on money and followers than on the souls I’m called to serve.  More than once I heard coaches say they’re driven by the fact that “we only live once”, so they want to go out knowing they gave it their all and accomplished as much as possible before they die.  It sounded like nails on a chalkboard each time I heard it. 

Of course as Christians we know there‘s more than this life, and what we do here has eternal implications.  There’s nothing wrong with wanting to go “all in” when it comes to our lives, as long as the “abundance” we seek is in the areas that really matter.  As Thomas Merton said, we may spend our whole life climbing the ladder of success, only to find when we get to the top that our ladder is leaning against the wrong wall.  I don’t want to “give everything I’ve got” to something that displeases God is or is shallowly focused on this temporary life. 

So, do we have to be in ministry or work at a non-profit, or stay at home or volunteer in the church full time? Absolutely not!  It’s no mistake that we all have unique passions, dreams, talents, and areas of interest.  (Oh, and He came to earth and worked as a carpenter.  There’s that.)  We serve a God who not only creates with purpose, but for pleasure.  (Why else would he make 400,000 kinds of flowers?)  How we find success is not defined by what we do or what we are called.  It comes from being who God created you to be, in connection with Him.

When I began work as a counselor, I met with one of my professors (at a secular college) and told her I wasn’t sure if I wanted to market my practice as Christian or not, because I was afraid it might limit who I reached.  Her words have served me in multiple areas of my life:  “There’s no such thing as secular counseling.  The Holy Spirit is working with and around you regardless of what you do.” 

So who determines what it means to be “successful”? Look up the definition of success online and you’ll see everything from money to fame. Here’s my home-grown definition: Success is joining God in the work He’s doing around me, using the talents & gifts He’s given me, passionately serving others as if working for Him. 

I think Earl Nightengale had it almost perfect.  He taught that people with goals succeed because they know where they’re going. I’d say that’s pretty good. (Or they succeed if they know where they’re going because they’ll be sure their goals align with God’s.)  But he also said success is setting a goal and working toward it.  Notice he didn’t say achieving it.  I like this as well, because God doesn’t ask for perfection; He asks for obedience. (He knows how imperfect we are!)  Remember the story of guy who wasted his talents?

One last thought
Success will never come from serving yourself.

True, you may make lots of money, get that big promotion, or any of the other things this world calls the prize.

But real success will always involve giving it your all, connecting with people, and serving others.

Not sure how to apply this to your own life?  Why not do a mini session with me?

Click here. It’s free.

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The post Success Defined appeared first on Rise Coaching.

We’ve arrived.  We’re wrapping up a 6-part series, teaching the model (see below) that I use when coaching clients.  Today we’re focusing on your Result (the “R-line” of the model ).  You’ve now seen how our thoughts create our feelings, actions, and results.  And because these things are all connected to and stem from your thoughts, the current results you’re experiencing in your life are a reflection on your thought life. 

Before you search for my email address to send me hate mail, let me add: this is not meant to place blame, and of course doesn’t take into account things which have happened in your life that are completely out of your control!  That tree laying on your house from yesterday’s tornado couldn’t have been prevented by the best of thinking, right?  And yet, I’m reminded of a story…

My husband and I just celebrated our 10-year Anniversary.  We met in a rather unlikely place…a grief camp for kids.  He’d brought his then 11 year-old son following the deaths of his daughter & wife, and I was there with my then 6 year-old daughter following the death of her Dad.  Fast forward three years, to when we returned to camp as husband & wife and volunteer camp counselors!  We gathered the night before the campers arrived and all 30 of us were asked to share our stories of loss.  I remember listening in awe to some, wondering “How in the world are you still standing?”  One woman was was the sole survivor in a car wreck where both parents and both siblings were all killed.  Another man shared his story of losing his wife, adult son, and grandchild all within a 9-month period.  The human soul is miraculously resilient.  

Why are some people more resilient than others? So how is it that some people can handle all this and go on to be grateful and joyful humans, while others crumble when going through things that would leave others unfazed?  Of course there are many answers to this question: DNA, the environment we’re raised in, the coping skills we are taught… but the greatest indicator of our thoughts will always be the results we currently have in our life.  Our thoughts about our life circumstances (yes-even the ones we can’t control) determine our reaction to them.  Thoughts cause feelings, which drive our actions (including reactions and inaction), which create our results. 
Just as physical health is strengthened by resistance training, mental health is strengthened by resilience training.  The work I do as Life Coach is similar to that of a private trainer.  We can all use a little focused help at times, and it stands to reason that we would need assistance when it comes to training the most complex organ in the body!

Change your thinking to change your result -OR- Decide that your current thoughts (& feelings) are exactly what you need right nowWhen going through rough times, we often aren’t allowed the time, space and support we need to fully feel and process our emotions.  We’re told by friends, family, and society what we should think about our circumstance, how to feel, what to do, and even how much time is “appropriate” to process what’s happened.  So we learn how to deny our thoughts. To suppress our feelings. To “disconnect” from ourselves (even to the point of dissociation).   None of these actions aid healing.  To the contrary, they delay growth and lead to results we’d give anything to avoid (like prolonging the pain or discomfort!).  But let’s face it: we don’t always want  to feel “good” about our circumstances.  If I do something against my morals, the thought “I shouldn’t have done that” will create a feeling of guilt, which ensures I don’t repeat the action in the future.  If someone hurts my child, the mama bear in me wants to feel anger.  Taking our thoughts captive is empowering because it allows us to see a way out of the discomfort.  We must see this before we can decide whether our thoughts are serving us or producing the results we want.  This may mean we decide to change our thinking, but often times it does not!  It sometimes takes a full excavation of thoughts before we have the full picture of what’s happening for us, but three questions can help.   Important things to consider when deciding to keep/change the thought:

1. Does this thought (and therefore feeling, action and result) align with your morals and values?
2. Is this thought serving you? In other words, is the thought (and therefore F, A, and R) creating the result you want in your life?
3. Do you like your reason for keeping it?

  The human brain has the capacity to heal itself and the body, but God created humans with a brain unlike any other creature.  The only species that can think about what we think about, we have an innate ability to grow spiritually and mentally, but also to develop self discipline so we can live the abundant life we were created for!

Not sure how to apply this to your own life?  Why not do a mini session with me?

Click here. It’s free.

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The post The Result of Our Models appeared first on Rise Coaching.

Several years ago, I was caught off guard when my daughter called me out unintentionally.  “Mom, your Pinterest clothes are so cute.  How come you don’t dress that way?” Ouch!  It stung. But after considering it, I realized it was a valid question.  I (like millions of other Pinterest addicts) was pinning things that caught my eye.  Things I felt represented my spirit well.  So why was I living that life virtually instead of in reality? 

Before you hit “delete” thinking this is about living a shallow life where identity is found in design, let me assure you: I live in a place of gratitude. I thank God every day for the life I get to live. I know that this life is not about what we accumulate here, and that what we focus on can lead to wanting more of it and less of the things that really matter.  Random Fact: My first Pinterest password was “sinterest” to remind me when logging in that He created me with a heart of vision & creativity -not coveting & jealousy. (It also ironically proves he made me a words girl as well.)

With that said, my daughter’s question hit me for a reason beyond insulting my wardrobe. As a young teen I remember saving my babysitting money to buy Bridal magazines, and then designed a poster of my dream wedding-to the minutiae. I had another that detailed my future home-including photos, fabric swatches, and even a floor plan! (A skill that served me well when I got my 1st degree in Interior Design.) So you can imagine my excitement when I heard of this wonder called “Pinterest”.  Let’s just say I could win a metal for having the most boards if that were a thing.

Living Intentionally

When my girl pointed out the discrepancy she saw, it was as if she’d asked “Is this who you want to be?”  I thought about what I’d virtually pinned online.  My boards represented a wide range of hobbies, the body and home that I live in (or hope to some day), self care, nutrition, etc.  But the ones I spent the most time adding to had a deeper meaning and enjoyment.  Scripture that has shaped my life and brought comfort, gatherings for hosting family and friends, date ideas for my husband, family vacations and activities and things that would make our kids and someday grand-kids want to come “home”.

I realized that for the most part, my life does look a lot like what I’d planned as a child.  The creativity God seeded in me as a child has grown deep in my roots.  I still love spending time with my family and our four legged friends as well as decorating, knitting, and being outside.  But I also realized that there are somethings I’ve pinned for the future that I could be living today.  So I don’t have a huge kitchen.  Why wait until I do to invite friends over for supper?  Now that I’m done with school, why not start those hobbies I’ve been wanting to learn?  And when would it be the right time to dress my body in a way that reflected my personality?

Living on Purpose I made some changes that day.  I cleaned out my closet and donated anything that didn’t reflect my spirit.  I Marie Kondo’d my entire wardrobe.  (Minus thanking my clothes for their service before giving them away. That’s just weird. 😉 I started asking myself each time before making a purchase, “Does this reflect my spirit?” If not, it’s a no-go.   I shared my dream with my husband to someday live on a reversed tithe where we live on 10% of our income and donate 90% to those who need it more than we ever could as Americans.  While our businesses are still a long way from being able to support that idea, he surprised me a few months later when he shared that he’d reworked our budget and and created a plan to scale our charitable giving by 1% every year until we’re able to make a bigger jump.    The truth is, living authentically (where your values, dreams and actions all align) brings contentment while in-congruence brings distress.  Don’t believe me?  Show me a someone who believes God loves us infinitely, but hates herself whenever she passes a mirror.  How about someone who wants to give her kids the childhood she never had, but loses her temper with them all day.  Or the nutritionist who teaches healthy eating all day and binges on junk food each night.  We can’t believe one thing in our heart while taking contrasting action without experiencing internal conflict. “Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.” -Gandhi

When we take our beliefs and values with us into all areas of our life, we are consistent in who we are.   What are your core beliefs? What foundation have you built your life on?  If you reviewed all of the “boards” and “pins” in your life, would they align with your foundation, or are there things you need to pin or toss in order to live in alignment with your beliefs?  Take a look. Take some time for a late spring cleaning. You’ll be so glad you did!

Not sure how to apply this to your own life?  Why not do a mini session with me?

Click here. It’s free.

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The post Why Your Pinterest Boards are Worth Living appeared first on Rise Coaching.

Two of my favorite questions when making decisions are:

What am I saying yes to later, by saying no to this now?

                                              -and-

What am I saying no to later by saying yest to this now?

This works for anything from “Should I buy this?” to “Should I go after this dream?”

Saying yes to a second piece of the Strawberry Trifle means saying no to fitting in that cute little dress for an upcoming summer wedding.

Saying no to checking emails & Facebook throughout the day means getting all my videos recorded for my new Time Management course.

Saying yes to heading out on the trail for a run despite sore muscles from yesterday’s run means saying no to feeling regretful tomorrow, wishing I’d been active.

Saying no to a potential client who’s only available to meet at the time I promised to be there for my husband means saying yes to honoring my word and prioritizing my relationship with him. 

The lower brain wants whatever feels “right” right now!

It’s not smarter than the prefrontal cortex (PFC); it’s just LOUDER! Think of the lower brain (LB) as a toddler.  It throws tantrums. It’s impulsive. Impatient. It has a hart time controlling its impulses. It can also be very dramatic and persistent!

**But here’s a secret** Stalling that toddler (LB) long enough to get its parent (the PFC) back in the room, often results in rational decisions which are intentionally chosen with the future & your best interests in mind!

Here’s what that looks like:

Lower brain (LB): “That ice cream was amazing! Another bowl won’t hurt.”

(Remove self from the temptation, notice what you’re feeling in your body and listen to the “chatter” in your head with curiosity rather than judgement.)

PFC: “I do want more. But I also want to be comfortable wearing shorts this summer.”

LB:  “I went running yesterday though.  Another bowl won’t matter just one time.  I already burned off the calories.”

PF: “True.  If I eat a second bowl, I might still maintain my current weight. But my goal is to lose weight. Saying yes to more means saying no to hitting that goal… Besides… I’m not even hungry anymore.”

Insert any content above. Spending, investing, over-eating or drinking, taking action or avoiding, watching “just one more” episode of a binge-watch.

Two of the toughest lessons for humans to master are:

learning to do the things we don’t want to do

-and-

and not doing the things we want to do

We must be willing to say no to ourselves in the present in order to create the future we want most of all. 

If you find that your inner toddler impossible to discipline during decisions, enforce a 24 hour rule to start with.  Wait 24-hours to make a decision, giving you the time needed to compare all your Yes’s & No’s. This will get easier with time. That toddler won’t learn delayed gratification without the lesson being repeated.

So the next time you find yourself mid-impulse or decision, ask yourself as many questions as possible. What are you saying no to later if you say yes now? If the decision has any feelings of urgency with it, delay the decision for 24 hours.

You’ll be so glad you did. 

…Yes?

Not sure how to apply this to your own life?  Why not do a mini session with me?

Click here. It’s free.

Click here

The post How to Make Decisions You can Live With appeared first on Rise Coaching.