I’m currently mourning the loss of a dream.  My heart is hurting, and my soul is confused. Until now, it’s been too hard to even talk about. When exactly the dream started, I can’t say, but it started over a year ago with a dream of having a space where like-minded women could come together in a physical space that was warm and inviting. I wanted them to have access to an environment where they knew there would be people to visit with, but also with quiet spaces where they could come to work on their goals—whatever those were.

Mourning a broken dream can feel a lot like grieving the loss of a friend.

The first time I shared this vision with my husband, it was a bit into COVID. He’d asked how I thought COVID could impact thee plan, and I explained that I’d been hearing from women who had been involuntarily moved to work-from-home, who missed being around others. (I’m an introvert, so I can’t fully relate to that, but I certainly know enough extroverts to know that being in seclusion for over a year is enough to make anyone ready to escape the house!)  As I described the space and collective I’d been dreaming of, he was fully supportive. We prayed about it, and over the next several months, God filled in all the colors and details of this dream.

We live in a city of 74,000 which is tucked into a community made up of 18 other cities, totaling 250,000 residents. It’s the best of both worlds. Small-town friendly, with access to plenty of culture. Within Appleton, there is a property I’ve passed hundreds of times and always admired. It consists of a white, two-story farmhouse sharing one acre with a small 2-story barn. It’s quaint and beautiful, on land that’s peaceful yet is the only barn yet standing within a thriving town. In the midst of my praying and dreaming, I was beyond thrilled in October, when a “for sale” sign hit this yard. It was the perfect space.

No time was wasted before our first walk-through with the realtor. It was absolutely gorgeous.  …The barn, I mean. The house had a sweet charm to it. It wasn’t perfect but it was unique and had plenty of potential.  Armed with a degree in interior design, I was certain I could love it just as much as the white barn that was just across the driveway.  I could already fully envision the barn as a place for growing, healing and socializing. It had ample space for one office for meeting with counseling and coaching clients, but also had a larger open space and loft where I would group furniture to create workspaces, reading nooks, and gathering areas for women to enjoy. (There was even a beautiful outdoor patio where I planned to have tables and a few swing chairs for a quiet escape.)

There was just one (very large) complication….

I wrote a letter to the owners and told them my vision. We visited the property again, made multiple calls to the town, spoke with the owners for over an hour on the phone, and put in an offer. The number of things that occurred over the next month where God was clearly opening doors and lining things up are too many to tell here, but there was one big complication that stood in our way. The barn was maintained and listed as a commercial-approved building within a residential zone. The prior owners ran a business out of it and had invested a considerable amount of money into renovating the barn to meet and keep code.  However, while they were told by the town that this commercial permit would transfer with the property, the town told a very different story.

It seemed that the “Barnhouse” (as we lovingly called it) had become a bit of a bee in the town’s bonnet.  They’d gotten numerous phone inquiries about the property since it hit the market, each potential buyer presenting a different business plan and intentions. The man I spoke with said they’d shot every one of them down but said mine sounded promising. I was hopeful. I kept praying.

Days later, I got a call back from him, stating that he talked to his supervisor, “and it was a no-go.” He would offer little reasoning but said only that the current commercial permit would terminate with the sale of the home, and that the town was not interested in entertaining further businesses running out of it. So, when we put in an offer that was below asking price, explaining the town’s stance and high-risk we were taking on by hoping to win the town over, and be granted the opportunity to present our plan to the town board, the owners were unwilling to reduce their price, being told by the town that the building could be used commercially.

We made another offer.  More phone calls. Waited.  Prayed. And oddly, both my husband and I said repeatedly that we both felt we were to wait it out…that we shouldn’t give up and that it would somehow be ours. For six months, we prayed and dreamed of all the ways we could use the property to bless other people.

And then a few weeks ago, we walked to what we the Barnhouse, talking along the way about the next step. Another offer.  We asked each other, should we be “waiting on God” or had He already answered, and we just needed to step out in faith and trust that He would work things out? We’re no strangers to risk and aren’t risk-adverse, but we also didn’t want to be reckless or get ahead of God. While we were torn between these two perspectives, we agreed that someone it would work out; we just didn’t know how.

It was a windy day and it felt like time slowed down and the atmosphere changed as we turned the corner that the property sits on.  I heard the wind and at the same time that I felt the air knocked out of me, I saw a red “SOLD” sign dangling by one corner from the “for sale” sign that had been there for half a year. We both stopped abruptly. Neither one of us said a word. We just stood there for a minute before I felt the sting of tears in my eyes.

For the past week, I held out hope. I thought perhaps it wasn’t over. That somehow, it would still work out. The irony of seeing someone I knew well elected on as the town supervisor seemed to say that God was working thing out.  Yesterday, when my husband reported that the signs have been replaced with signs for the company hired by the new owners to paint the house, I saw that it’s no longer listed on the realtor websites. I felt the air leave and the tears burning again.

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” ~Romans 8:28

I trust God. I believe Romans 8:28 literally, knowing He is working all things together for the good of those who love Him. I also know we have free will which often gets in the way and prevents some of the good things He has planned for us.

Remember that God’s “no” is protection; not rejection.

I’m unsure whether this was a case where God said no out of protection, or if it was our own lack of faith that kept us from stepping out into where He was leading us.  When God led the Israelites out of slavery, He parted the Red Sea for them to reach the promised land, but they still had to walk in faith in order to get through it.

So often, when we feel a leading or a calling from God, we get stuck in the cycle of questioning and overthinking.  There’s a time for praying and a time for action. I’m currently reading The Last Arrow by Erwin Raphael McManus (highly recommend it!) and the day my heart was hurting after seeing the sign, I read this:

“People who are constantly praying about everything may be doing too much talking and not enough listening. The point of prayer is response. And once God has spoken, you don’t need to pry about that anymore—unless, of course, you are trying to change his mind. There are things I don’t need to pray about anymore. I already prayed about them. I know the answer. What I don’t need is clarity. What I do need is courage and conviction.”

Ouch. And yes. So, this is the crossroads of dreaming big and stepping into God’s calling…but only part-way. We all get it wrong sometimes, but that doesn’t mean we should just give up. I may never know whether we lost this opportunity because God was protecting us from something we’re unaware of, or because we prevented ourselves from the opportunity God was drawing us to. But I do know this:  God and our relationship with Him is bigger than any dream (broken or otherwise) and He is a good, good Father.  Thankfully it’s never too late. He’s the God of second chances, and He if this dream was from Him (and I believe without a doubt that it was) He will finish the work He’s started.

Need support with your dreams?

While I don’t have that physical space yet, I do have a virtual one! Both individual clients and members of Rising Soul enjoy ongoing support while setting, vetting, and getting goals, while keeping Christ in the center of their lives.  Schedule a free consultation and I’ll show you how coaching can help you step into the life you were created for.

Schedule Now

The post Broken Dreams (When God Says No) appeared first on Rise Coaching.

Love is both a noun and a verb.  I feel love for someone because of what I choose to think about them. Sometimes it’s easy to come up with thoughts that create love as an emotion.  Other times it’s much more challenging. It’s in those difficult relationships, I choose to remind myself that this person was created by God and deeply loved by Him. I choose to remember that there is much of this person’s story (what has led to their current behaviors and values) that I don’t know.

Love is an emotion.

Emotions are created by our thoughts.

Emotions are created by our thoughts.

Now let’s turn to an emotional favorite: joy.

She’s the little blue-haired, spit-fire character in Pixar’s movie Inside Out. In this entertaining and animated movie about how emotions and memories are created, the “emotions” that live as characters inside an 11-year old girl’s brain create feelings by choosing things for her to think about. And everyone loves “Joy.”

I’m certainly no exception.  It’s one of my favorite emotions (along with gratitude and curiosity) and it is completely rooted in the choice to be joy-filled in all circumstances. Psalm 16:11 tells us that joy comes from being in God’s presence. I think there’s something more though, that the psalmist assumes that we already know. Just being in God’s presence (a circumstance) isn’t enough for us to experience joy.

We can’t shake off God’s unconditional love or His presence. These two things are fundamental parts of God’s character and can’t be changed or influenced by us. Contrary to society’s message today, truth is not subjective; It’s true whether we believe it or not. We’re all created with autonomy (“free will”) to choose what we believe though, and this does impact our experience. 

For as he thinks in his heart, so is he.
~Proverbs 23:7 

If I focus on the circumstances in my life and let those determine my emotions, my life will be full of drastic highs and lows.  There isn’t anything wrong with this.  In fact, I often say that life is 50/50 positive and negative emotions (although not all for the same length of time, thankfully!). This is what makes life interesting. A life where we were happy all the time would get boring after a while. I wouldn’t feel broken-hearted after a loved one’s death if I hadn’t also experienced extreme love for them during their life.

Joy is an emotion unlike any other.
We can feel its presence even during painful negative emotions.
It’s this emotion both as an emotion and construct that girds us up consistently
regardless of the circumstance we find ourselves in.

Those who work with me say I “speak in models.”  By this, they mean that I show them repeatedly that how you think about your circumstances is what creates your emotions, and those emotions then drive your actions, bringing about the results you have (or want) in your life. The members of Rising Soul know this model well. They understand that the reason this is true is because God (the Trinity) is the back-drop of the model. He created us to be in Him. Not to compartmentalize who we are and where our “Christian beliefs” fit into our life. But rather, to see all things through the lens of a God who loves you, sees you, and desires a meaningful and personal relationship with you.

This.changes.everything.

It creates joy.

A joy that is bigger than our circumstance.

A joy that outlives us.

And the reason for that joy? It’s not a circumstance. (Remember, that’s not what creates feelings!)

When know God and center our life around Him and His love, we can’t not think about Him.

When we go through hard times, we know that we’re not alone. We choose to think on that.

When something is out of our control, we know that He is in control. We choose to think on that.

When we’re afraid and uncertain about the future, we know that God is working all things together for good. And we choose to think on that.

This knowledge of God and choice to center our thinking on Him allows us to experience the joy that’s only found in Him.

Now that’s something to think about. 😉

Rising Soul is just 2 weeks away!

We’re a group of like-minded women living the life we were created for.

Click here to learn more and get on the wait list so you don’t miss out

when doors open again on March 25th. (Doors open quarterly.)

Learn more

The post Unconditional Joy appeared first on Rise Coaching.

“This is amazing. We need one of these!” I told my skeptical husband. We watched as a couple said goodbye to their dog, headed off to dinner, and then shared a dessert, checking in on their pup from their phone.  “Hey buddy!” The husband in the commercial cooed as their pooch pranced into the room.  As the man’s finger clicked the “treat” button on his screen, a small treat was projected from the spy-cube to the dog, who promptly caught it, and then returned to his little luxe doggie bed to patiently wait for their return.

The next day, I browsed Amazon — overwhelmed by the number of surveillance-and-treat systems available for the dog-obsessed. So many options, in fact, that I couldn’t decide on one, and abandoned my cart.  As I pondered the purchase in the following week, I started to see two flaws with this system.

Houston, we have a problem.

Problem number one:

Tootsie, our chocolate lab, is what dog trainers politely refer to as “highly food motivated.”

In other words, she eats anything in sight (including a firestarter log, but that’s another story!) faster than she’s able to decipher whether the object is, indeed, edible. (It turns out, everything is.) Having a treat-tossing machine in our living room would likely last 3.2 seconds after the dispensing of the first treat, after which she would destroy the plastic cube and eat its remaining contents.

Problem number two:

Maslow, our Golden Doodle, is what dog trainers politely refer to as “slightly neurotic.”

In other words, she is obsessed with me and suffers from separation anxiety when I’m out of her view for longer than she can blink. She is also a sweet little soul, and so when she needs correction (usually from shredding a magazine out of anxiety when I leave her at home) she is extremely sensitive and quick to do what I ask of her.  She’s more likely to fly than walk when I order, “On your bed!”.

She’s also so obsessed with me and videos that when I’m traveling and FaceTime my family, she leaps into the room and onto their laps to stick her big button nose against the screen, to take in my every syllable and move.

They say that over time, dogs and pets become more like each other.  Oh, Mylanta, I hope not! Seriously though, I started thinking about how these three traits and behaviors are seen frequently in dogs…and also, in humans.  Specifically, in humans as it comes to God and how we relate to Him, and the things from Him.

Lesson #1 The blessing is in our relationship with God…not in the treats he gives us.

Let’s begin with Tootsie who spends most of her life looking at the ground, ready to pounce (with an open mouth) on any scrap of treat that falls.  She often can’t be bothered with pets and cuddles, because she’s only interested in treats of the edible sort.

We’ve all met people who are more of “fair-weathered friends” than “man’s best friend.”  They pray when they need something, and are thankful when good things are happening in their life, but outside of those two circumstances, they pay little to no attention to their relationship with God. Sadly, they miss out on much by thinking the “abundant life” means a life where everything is good, and where all their needs are met. In reality, when Scripture talks about the abundant life, it refers to a life where we are fully dependent on God, in relationship with Him, inviting the Trinity into every area of our lives…not just the good…and not just the painful.

When I move about throughout our house, Maslow pops up and trots along.  Because of this, she often gets extra belly rubs and sometimes just gets company and the feeling that she’s not alone.  Tootsie (who really doesn’t care about any of those things) only gets up if she hears the clinks of silverware on plates, or the sound of the refrigerator cracking open. Oh, Tootsie.  How much you miss. 🙂

Lesson #2 You’re loved by God and under the safety of His watchful eye

As I imagine what I’d see if I were to spy on our pups when away from home, there’s one situation I know I’d encounter in quick order. Maslow pulling a magazine or book from a table, and carrying it back to her bed to destroy. As I contemplated my purchase, I imagined catching her in the act, and her reaction as she heard her name booming from the little spy-box that was still waiting in my Amazon shopping cart. With her uber-sensitive desire to please me, and her fear of disappointing, one verbal correction would likely have her curled in a corner with her tail between her legs. Would getting this Fido vision make her even more anxious?

Here again, we see a mirroring of what is often found in man’s relationship with God. The twisted idea that God is always watching, waiting for us to do something wrong…just one false move…so He can bring down the hammer.  Another variation of this tendency is seen when people become so fixated on God “showing up unexpectedly” that they refuse to do anything without hearing from Him first. They’re afraid that if they do anything wrong, they’ll disappoint.  So instead they do nothing…waiting for clear direction on every move.

We can be active-even in the waiting

Please don’t misunderstand.  It’s important to seek God first. To invite Him in.  To follow Him. But He also created us with a brain, instincts, and common sense that allow us to make decisions that are honoring and wise while we’re waiting to hear from Him. This leads me to my last point, which is closely related.

Lesson #3 Be who you were created to be

When I think of Maslow’s obsession with me and her desire to be near me, I feel both honored and humbled. I’ve taken her to classes as a puppy, and the vet for annual check ups. And yes, I even make her home-made biscuits on occasion. But I’m not so sure any of that warrants the love she gives me, the hard wags of her tail when she sees my car pull into the driveway, or the happy dance she does when I walk in the door. In all honestly, I hope Jesus knows I’m every bit as smitten with Him.

But this is where things often break down.  I love that Maslow loves me.  I love that she wants to please me. And as selfish as it is, I love that when I speak a command I’ve taught her, she proudly snaps to it, to show me that she’s obedient and at my beck and call. And yet…

We were created in God’s image…

I decided to click “delete” on Amazon that day. After imagining the impact this treat-wielding, dog-spying, video-cooing Fido cube would have on our pups, I decided it wasn’t worth the risk. Because when it all comes down to it, I want our dogs to be dogs.

I want them do all the dog things that God created them to do. I want them run to the window when they hear someone walking by, bark at the squirrels, take long naps, and yes…even shred my magazines and get into trouble while we’re gone. Because this is what dogs do.

The Bible has a lot to say about why we were created. It says we were made in God’s image.  Yes- to glorify Him, but also to be in relationship with Him and to love others. And lest we get too confused by the intersection of loving God and loving others, we have to go back to the head, heart and common sense that we were born with. Would God have created you with a passion, purpose, dreams, and ideas, if He wanted you to sit still –waiting for Him to command every single move you make throughout your day without using the gifts He gave you? Certainly, He wants to be at the center of your life. We’re not called to compartmentalize who we are–being Christian in some areas and aspects, but not in others. Nope. He wants us to love Him with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.

Forgive me if I return to my analogy one last time, to make a point. I want Maslow to come readily when I call her.  Sometimes because I’m thrilled to be with her. Sometimes because she’s in danger and I need to bring her to safety.  Regardless of the reason, I want her to be obedient. Thankfully, she is. And I also want her to be who she was created to be. Go play. Run. Sleep. Do what dogs do. That’s what brings me joy.

God our Father, loves watching you be you.
Living the life He created you to live.
All while honoring, cherishing, and yes-obeying Him.
You can do all three at the same time.
It’s the way you were created.

Rising Soul is opening soon!

We’re a group of like-minded women living the life we were created for.

Click here to learn more and get on the wait list so you don’t miss out

when doors open again in just a few weeks.

Learn more

The post What My Dogs Taught Me About God appeared first on Rise Coaching.

This project taught me two important lessons.

First, Marie Kondo is one smart cookie. Her concept of organizing by item (books, clothing, etc.) and bringing every single item within that category to one central location for organizing (what has been dubbed “organizing Kondo-style”) is both brilliant and deviously sneaky. In this single step, those of us who have been wooed by her seemingly sweet and innocent demeanor are instantly ambushed as we stand before a mountain of superfluous what-have-you, faced with the sheer volume of what we own. This alone made me consider donating the entire lot to charity, shaving my head and become a monk –to rid myself of an apparent over-attachment to things.

But here’s the surprise…our attachment to things isn’t really about things.

Thankfully, this exercise was part of an assignment we’re doing in Rising Soul this month, which included noticing our thoughts and emotions as we downsized, organized and systematized our spaces and habits. So, as I stopped to notice my resistance to tossing books to the donate bin, I realized something surprising. This feeling of attachment and fear of not having “enough” wasn’t really about the books at all. Clearly, I had more than enough books.  (Trust me. I did the math. If I were to read one book a week, I would not need to visit the public library for thirteen and a half years. Problem? I still think not.)

Having “too much” of something is often attached to a fear of “not enough.”

What then, was I afraid of? Why was I keeping more than I could possibly consume? Ahhh…there it was.  The fear of not enough…knowledge. The fear of missing out. The fear that someday, someone may come to me for help, and I would be unable to help them out of the pool they were drowning in, because I hadn’t read that book yet and I had given it away. And in that moment of realization, I sensed God whisper, “Do you trust me to give you what you need?”  And of course, I do.

This made me wonder: when you hold on to “extra” things you don’t need, what is it that you are fearing? What need are you afraid won’t be provided for? And what do you believe about how your needs are met? Who is your provider?

The second thing I learned is that the belief that we “need” something can actually keep us from what’s available to us.

I have a habit (my husband may find the term “addiction” more appropriate) of going to used book sales on the last day, when they offer “fill a bag for 5 bucks.” Because, well– why buy 3 books you’ve been wanting when you could get those plus another 20 to fill the rest of your bag at the same price?! (I realize this line of thinking led to me standing in my living room surrounded by 706 of my favorite books. No judgement needed.)

Back to my point…. The majority of my collection is non-fiction. (I own only 12 novels, which are easier to read and toss, in my defense…because clearly, I need one.) As an example, I thought I needed every book I had about the brain and its impact on mental health. So, the first time I sorted through my books, I kept almost every one I came across. But when I stepped back and looked at all of the brain books together, I realized three of them were highly recommended, but the rest seemed just average and even outdated. In reality, I was unlikely to read the majority of these, since there will always be new best sellers written.

Because I had so many books on the brain, I wasn’t reading any of them. I’d stare at the assortment, get overwhelmed by the decision and move on to a different category altogether. In the end, I kept the three that I was most excited to read and let go of the rest. I followed that same pattern with each remaining category and at the end of the day, I had eliminated one hundred nine books from my library. (Full disclosure, six of the books had an identical twin among the collection, which means a win-win. I get to keep my copy and some lucky winner at the library book sale will too, following my donation.)

Sometimes in life (as well as in amazing library collections) we have to let go of what we think we need in order to use what we’ve got and make room for what’s coming.

I can think of several things in my past that I held onto tightly, only to find God had something much better for me when I finally let go. This can be true of jobs, relationships, houses, dreams… and surprisingly, books. What are you holding onto that’s keeping you from grabbing hold of what God wants to offer you?

I now have a library that’s organized topically…with only books that I can’t wait to dive into. But just as exciting is the empty space that’s now on the shelves. I’m determined not to fill it with things I don’t need. I’m going to enjoy what I have, knowing that as I read and let go of each book, there will be more knowledge and growth to come.

What are you holding onto?

What fears are keeping you stuck?

Schedule a free consultation with me to peek into your blindspots so we can free up some space for the good things God has planned for you!

Schedule Now

The post 2 Things Maria Kondo Won’t Teach You appeared first on Rise Coaching.

How does an optimist see this glass?              (Half-full.)

How does a pessimist see this glass?              (Half-empty.)

How does an engineer see this glass?             (50% over-produced.)

My husband hates that joke.

He’s an engineer.

I love the joke

because…I’m an optimist.

Quite possibly, I also like it because it references the line of work I’m in. I’m in the business of hope and optimism. I help people take action to change the things they can and to deal with the things they can’t change.  I help them regain a sense of control over their moods and perspective when things aren’t going “as planned.”

Optimism is a choice to be hopeful that there will be a positive outcome.
Anyone can be optimistic if they choose to be.
Hope.

Sometimes I help client’s do this by helping them change their perspective.  I often hold hope for them until they’re able and ready to hold it on their own. This often includes helping them see their circumstances by better understanding God and who He is, so they can feel His love through the worst of times.

When we started this year, there were many references to having 20/20 vision.  This is humorous now, since none of us had a clear vision of what this year was going to be!  Perhaps you’ve heard the adage, “In like a lion, out like a lamb.”  It refers to an old prediction from the Farmer’s Almanac that says if March begins with a blustery dose of winter, it will end in the calm renewal of spring. However, if it begins with a warm calmness, we say, “In like a lamb and out like a lion” and expect for worse weather ahead!

Hope: trusting despite our circumstances

My ability to hold hope and to see the silver lining (or at least the “light at the end of the tunnel”) is not because I have never experienced hard times.  I’m human.  And as I say, no one escapes this life unwounded. In fact, I would argue that a person’s ability to have an optimistic perspective is not despite hard times, but because of hard times.  And one positive thing 2020 has offered us is an opportunity to stretch our resiliency.

I’m guessing you can look back over this year and see losses you’ve suffered. Pain you’ve endured.  Disappointments and loss.  And yet…if you look hard enough, you will also find blessings.  Perhaps you’ve learned to work through disagreements as a family after spending so much time “trapped” together indoors.  Or perhaps you’ve become more appreciative of the people in your life and the time you spend with them.  You may have had to solve problems that you thought had no solutions.

Better days ahead

My hope is that after the rough start of 2020, we’ll finally see the sun on the horizon, so to speak.  But before I say goodbye, I’m taking in the lessons of this year before the lion leaves:

We never really know what the day or year ahead of us will bring…we just think we know.

When we start to loosen our grip on how things “have to be” or are “supposed to be”, we feel less disappointment when things don’t go as “planned.”

• We can live with less than we think we need.
• We really don’t appreciate what we have until it’s taken from us.

And most importantly…

• All I really need for Christmas is the gift Jesus already gave me.

I received a Christmas card this week from a special aunt of mine.  In it, she had included a poem that I thought encapsuled the spirit of “optimism.”

“Worst Day Ever?” By Chanie Gorkin

Today was the absolute worst day ever
And don’t try to convince me that
There’s something good in every day
Because, when you take a closer look,
This world is a pretty evil place.
Even if
Some goodness does shine through once in a while
Satisfaction and happiness don’t last.
And it’s not true that
It’s all in the mind and heart
Because
True happiness can be attained
Only if one’s surroundings are good.
It’s not true that good exists
I’m sure you can agree that
The reality
Creates
My attitude
It’s all beyond my control
And you’ll never in a million years hear me say that
Today was a very good day.

Now read it from bottom to top, the other way,

And see what I really feel about my day.

Hope is trusting and believing with confidence that
God is working all things together for good.

To me, optimism and hope are closely connected, but not the same.  While optimism is looking for the “up-side” of a situation, “hope” is a more spiritual word. I see hope as something that only Christ can bring in the truest and purest sense of the word.  It’s believing that God is working all things together for good.  That things happen for me; not to me.  Biblically, it’s my understanding that the Lion represents Christ resurrected, and the lamb represents His sacrifice for us.  It’s what this season is all about.  Hope is the peace that comes from knowing that no matter what comes, it will be okay. This eternal hope is available to all. It’s your free Christmas gift..with no strings attached.

Joining us in Rising Soul on January 1st?

Come do life with us… we’re on the journey of improving our mental, spiritual,  financial, and relational health… with Christ at the center of it all.  Stop the overwhelm of trying to “do it all” and improve your life one week at a time, with the encouragement and support of  the group and your coach! Doors open for one week only. Get on the wait list now so you don’t miss out!

Learn more

The post The Difference Between Optimism & Hope appeared first on Rise Coaching.

She would nod and listen, waiting for them to finish and then would ask, “No….What are you giving for Christmas?”  This always brought looks of confusion and then much thought.  But she said, if she waited for it patiently, their little faces would light up a second time before they started spilling ideas of what they could make for their parents and do for their friends. She said that their excitement for giving equaled their excitement for getting.

This month in Rising Soul, we’re deep-diving into the topics of
gratitude and generosity…

These two things which are tightly intertwined. We’re practicing generosity in unlikely ways and capturing the moments that we want to remember–reflecting the stories of how God blesses us daily.

Acts 20:35 says it’s more blessed to give than to receive. Sociology says so too.  A 2014 study at Notre Dame, involving 2000 people, showed that those who described themselves as “very happy” volunteered an average of 5.8 hours per month, compared to the .6 average of those who self-identified as “unhappy.” The study showed that there was a catch to this happiness…those who fit the category of “very happy” were more than just occasionally generous. Generosity was a way of life for them, and it didn’t just encompass one area —such as finances, but also with time and hospitality.

If you google the benefits of generosity, you’ll get a wonderful overload of lists, studies, and articles. So why then, aren’t more people generous?  Sociologist Christian Smith (who authored the book The Paradox of Generosity, which presents the findings of the above study) says that he believes it’s fear that makes people less generous than we could be, fearing that by giving to others, we would have less and suffer a loss.

Generosity is a barometer of our faith and trust in God.

It’s for this very reason that I say that generosity is a barometer of our faith and trust in God. When you know God as your generous Father and Provider who loves you and takes care of you well, you know that you can’t out-give Him. When we realize that all we have has been given to us by God, and then bless others as a response to being blessed, something happens that goes against the philosophy of this world. It’s like a parent who’s expecting a new baby.  They can’t imagine how they could possibly love another child as much as the one they already have.  And yet, when they meet that new little being, the love they had is not divided by the two children, but instead doubled. Expanded. It grows.

We can’t manipulate God to get what we want.

This isn’t a slot-machine mentality.  God isn’t fooled and the state and intentions of your heart matter to Him.  He loves a cheerful giver. Greed is not part of this equation. He does not provide for us so that we can “store up all our earthly wealth” or live a comfy and luxurious life. So why does He provide for us?

1. It pleases Him and brings Him joy. (Hebrews 13:16)

2. To generate even more gratitude and generosity. (2Corinthians 9:11)

3. To bless others. (2 Corinthians 9:8-11)

The Bible has a lot to say about God taking our “little” and turning it into “a lot.” –Not for our benefit, but to benefit those around us.  With that said, it’s also true that when we bless others, we GET the blessing of that experience.

“The greatest blessing in the whole world is being a blessing.” Jack Hyles

I’m guessing you spend little time thinking about what you’ll get for Christmas, and lots of time planning out what you’ll give.  (Because…well…that’s part of adulting.) But this year, I challenge you to think outside the box. How what can you give besides material things that can be multiplied by God to bless others?  Each year, one of my favorite items on our to do list is is selecting a gift for my parents (who insist they are down-sizing and want nothing!) from the World Vision catalogue.  Did you know you can buy a safe bike ride to school for a girl in high-trafficking countries, or business training for a single mom, or clean drinking water for a community? I get so excited thinking about those people being blessed and I feel blessed by the thought of it!

After four years of French class, I can barely parle français.  But Madame VanderZanden was certainly on to something, and I’m grateful for her lesson.

Give yourself a gift this Christmas that will help you give to others!

Join the Rising Soul membership wait list and get ready to come on board with us when doors open again on January 1st! We focus on sharing our blessings with others on a regular ongoing basis!

Learn more

The post Best French Lesson appeared first on Rise Coaching.

What we have grows in crisis.

This is why great marriages get stronger during the death of a child, whereas fractured marriages end.

When things are going great in our life, we pay little attention to our thinking…because there’s no reason to change our thoughts or feelings.

But crisis startles the brain, making it on high-alert for any signs of danger.

This helps us regain a sense of security and control.

We watch the news nonstop. We comb social media and the internet for the latest information (even if it isn’t factual!).

This makes us human.

And it is NOT helpful.

The more we look for evidence that reason exists to be afraid, the more we find it (and ignore anything that shows the opposite is true).

Crisis gives us an opportunity and a choice.

A chance to get quiet. To turn inward. And upward.

To see and hear what we may otherwise drown out.

It’s the best time to align your spirit with God’s.

To pray and meditate and journal what He’s saying and where He’s leading.

We gain clarity about what exactly is causing suffering in our life & world, and what He wants us to do about it.

Our circumstances and our thoughts about them are NOT the same things.

Our thoughts are not like God’s thoughts, and our ways are not His ways.

People often say, “I can’t handle one more thing.”

We’ve somehow gotten the idea that we have an infinite ability to thrive, but a limited ability to withstand emotional pain or suffering.

The truth is that with God, we have an infinite capacity not only for suffering but also for resilience, strength, and redemption that God can provide through crisis.

I know you’re tired, friends.  There’s an abundance of pain all around us today.

But there’s also hope and strength and resilience.

And a Father who loves you and wants to grow His relationship with you and teach you something in the midst of it all.

Rising Soul is a monthly membership of Christian women, intentionally living the abundant life we were created for. Each month, we take a deep dive into a new topic, learning from Scripture & neuroscience, and then applying it to our life! 

Click here to learn more and join the waitlist so you don’t miss out when doors reopen next quarter!

The post When You “Can’t Take One More Thing” appeared first on Rise Coaching.

My memories of those summers consist mostly of the smell of peanut butter and  arts & crafts supplies. But there is one memory that’s less nostalgic.  I was probably only waist high, but felt tall while standing on a baby swing, moving back and forth.

Until, that is, “Marty”, the neighborhood bully stepped in front of me, and grabbed the chains, bringing me to an abrupt stop.  He was a teenager, and stood inches from my face. He looked me directly in the eyes and said, “Your dad’s a LOSER!”

“HE IS NOT!” I defended.  But Marty kept repeating it over and over until I began crying.  As I look back now, I shake my head at that cute little girl….so feisty…and hurt.   It was silly that I’d let him upset me so badly, considering that he didn’t even know who my dad was!  But I did and he was anything but loser.  So why did it bother me so much?

When we’re little, our identity has yet to be “formed.”  We’re far from knowing who we “are” yet and have no accomplishments to define us. So what do we have to rely on then?  The identity of our caregivers.  Simply put, if my Dad was a loser, then I had to be a loser too!

There’s lots of talk about ‘identity” and “purpose” these days.  They’re so closely tied together, in fact, that many people confuse the two.

There are three reasons we have to know WHOSE we are in order to know WHO we are!

1.  We’re made in God’s image

Isn’t it ironic that God created Adam as an adult man? His first full day of life spent hanging out with God in the Garden of Eden  included no memories of his past, or accomplishments to look to for his identity.  His identity WAS in God’s love, approval and satisfaction. We don’t need to rely on our own abilities, character, or roles to know who we are.  In fact, doing so just may get us into trouble (or smack dab in the middle of an all-out identity crisis)!

2.  It impacts how we see and relate to God

There’s no better evidence of this than Psalm 23. (You know it….”The Lord is my shepherd….”) You don’t need to look it up to know who we are in this metaphor.  When asked, even small children know who we are: SHEEP!  And yet…the word “sheep” isn’t found anywhere in this chapter of the Bible.  If God is the shepherd, we must be His sheep.  Even more importantly, knowing who He is gives us a security and rest unlike any other. 

3.  We’re born into Christ’s likeness when adopted into His family

There’s a certain look my Dad gets when he hears something odd. The inner most corner (and ONLY that corner) of his right  eyebrow raises like a question mark, giving him away every time. Several years ago, for the very first time,  he met his biological sister who was separated at birth.  Imagine when they recognized this same expression in each other during their time together!  While my aunt never met my grandmother, this little idiosyncrasy of hers was in her children’s DNA and inherited at birth! There’s much in Scripture about the attributes of God that we inherit from our Father when we receive Him into our lives. (Ephesians 5:8, 1 John 4:17, 2 Corinth 5:21 to name just a few.)

Our identities as humans are rich and multi-faceted.  Knowing who we are gives us insight into how we interpret and show up for the world around us.  Increased self-awareness can even help us become more aware of others.  (Empathy, for example, is experienced by being able to identify and connect with the another person from a piece of us that is similar). But far more important than knowing who we are is knowing whose we are. Because who we are will likely change more times than we can count over the course of our lifetime.  But our Father is unchanging, and knowing this and who He is, brings a stability, comfort and peace that is unshakable!

The post 3 Reasons to Know Whose You Are appeared first on Rise Coaching.

My favorite baseball cap says “dreamer” on it.

I’ve considered changing my email signature from “life coach” to “dream catcher.”

I LOVE helping people dream big.

Yesterday, I met with a new client.  She practically radiated as she told me about the BIG dreams God has planted in her heart and described all the branches of it that she’s working on.

She told me she was searching for a coach and that the last person she’d met with had listened -wide eyed- while she shared her vision, and then told her she needed to “just pick one” to work on.

She paused for dramatic effect, and raised her eyebrows as if to say, “what’s your take on that?”

I told her since God had clearly given and affirmed all of this dream for her, I recommend she go with that. (I’m not reckless enough to encourage saying no to your CEO!)

The thing about God-given dreams is that they often don’t seem rational. 

In fact, that’s sometimes an indicator that they’re God’s vision and not ours!

So many of the stories in the Bible involve God telling someone with limitations that He was going to do something big through them…if they obeyed and trusted Him.

Recently, a friend told me the story of her daughter’s first riding lesson.  Her little girl looked so small and timid on that big horse, so my friend called out, “Who’s leading? You or the horse?”  and then added “Someone’s going to be in charge, and if it’s not going to be you, you’d better hold on tight because it’s going to be a wild ride!”

Now, I’m not comparing God to a horse.  But the story made me think of how reversed this is when it comes to our dreams and living the life we were created for.

When I try to do big things on my own, I often feel fearful, overwhelmed and indulgent in doubt and confusion.

But when I give God the reins, and go where He leads, it’s an amazing “ride”.

He takes me places I never would have chosen to go on my own.

He develops my character and strengthens me along the way.

And most of all, He shows me that ALL things are possible with Him.

What dream has God given you that you’ve been too timid to live out?

What’s one step you could take today to show Him that you truly trust Him and are willing to go where He leads?

If you need help facing the fear, I’d be honored to help you on the journey. Click below to schedule a free consult.

It’s a ride I guarantee you won’t regret!

Schedule now

The post Dream Police appeared first on Rise Coaching.

Years ago, when I opened my private practice, I prayed over the name.  I wanted it to point to Christ in an unobtrusive way while sharing the vision of helping women fully embrace who they were created to be.  I brainstormed a list of names: She Rises, Rising Soul, Rising Strong…You get the picture. Lots of Rising happening.

Once I knew I had it, I did all the things.  Applied for the license, registered the names, applied for trademarks, designed my brand, printed signs, yada yada.  I never looked back.

Until I received a call one day from the director of a very LARGE and well-established company in my town.  The woman said she was “just doing a courtesy call” to let me know that they had decided to rebrand, and ironically (insert nervous laughter) the name they had selected….was the same as mine.

I didn’t say much at first (mostly because it’s hard to talk with your heart caught in your throat), but once I gathered myself, I said I didn’t understand.  I politely explained that I’d done all the things.  Step one of registering a company is, after all, researching to be certain the name wasn’t already being used.

She told me that she could understand my “concerns” but that while they hadn’t registered the name yet, they had printed thousands of flyers that would be handed out at the upcoming NFL game in two weeks. (Did I mentioned they were financially backed by this team?)

We agreed to talk again the following week, and I felt nauseous as I hung up and got very little sleep that night. Instead, I seeped in my thoughts:

“This is awful.”

“They can’t do this.”

“There’s no way I can go up against a company this big.”

“I’ll never win.”

The problem with fear and attempting to control things is that

negative emotions never drive positive action or gain positive results. 

The next morning, a coworker came to me and shyly told me she felt weird sharing, but that when she read her devotions that morning, she felt strongly that she was to share it with me, but didn’t know why.  It was the story of Gideon.  Know the story? He had a small army and a large battle to fight.  I imagine him pausing to remove his heart from his throat before asking God how he could possibly overcome his circumstances.

That night, I curled up with my Bible & a cup of tea and got a mental makeover. Not only did God tell Gideon He’d win the battle for him, He actually increased the challenge so Gideon couldn’t question whether it was God‘s “impossible” win.  I laughed out loud when I read the word God used to send him off “ARISE”.  I felt an assurance settle over me that night and in the week that followed.

My thoughts turned from victim to victor. The old crippling thoughts were replaced with

“God’s got this.”

“I’m going to see Him at work here.”

“I’m not alone.”

“He’s a God of the possible.”

“All things are possible with Him.”

Sure I had moments where my pulse quickened and the old thoughts popped up.  But I ran back to the Lord each time, and found belief again.  (And I swear every day’s devotions that week had the Word “Rise” or “Arise” in it!)

I did more homework in preparation, trusting in what God had shown me.  When I answered the phone a week later, I was surprised to hear not just the director announce herself, but an additional five voices including their attorney.  For thirty minutes, he attempted to intimidate me.  I calmly stated that while I empathized with their predicament, the state prohibits companies from using the names of businesses already established in the same city and/or industry because it causes confusion for potential clients.  I explained that as a sole-proprietor, I’d spent a lot of time, energy & resources selecting and registering my name.  And then I politely concluded that it was for all of those reasons that I ask that they continue searching for a new name that was not already registered by an existing business.

The silence was palpable.  They thanked me for my time and ended the call.  Although they gave me no indication of their decision, I felt at peace.  Two months later, I ran into a therapist who works for their business and learned that they returned to the drawing board and had registered a new name.  One which was very different than mine.

So often, we try to fight our battles alone, failing to draw on God’s strength that’s available to us all.  We worry about our
circumstances and ruminate on all the possible bad outcomes.  As a result, we either get stuck in inaction, or we jump blindly into action-attempting to beat the odds. But the reality is that negative emotions never create positive actions or results. 

The next time you’re up against an army, remember who’s leading yours.  Take the time to get in the right headspace before taking action, to ensure that your actions are coming from the right emotion

Acting in fear will create a mess.  Acting in belief brings new confidence.  Here’s what my aligned model looked like (thanks to that friend who shared her heart when she felt God pressing her to!)

Circumstance: Local firm is planning to market using my business name

Thought: “God’s won bigger battles; He’s got this.”

Feeling: Confident (in Him!)

Action: Pray, research, show up kindly & assertively

Result: I let God take over and get to see Him at work.

(My brain then takes this result as “proof” of my original thought, strengthening my belief that God is bigger than anything that comes up against me.)

The next time you’re up against an army, remember who’s leading yours.  Take the time to get in the right headspace before taking action, to ensure that your actions are coming from the right emotion

Need a mental makeover?

If you’re tired of worrying and overthinking things, I can help you with that! Schedule a free, no-obligation consultation call with me and I’ll show you how coaching can help you step into the life you were created for.

Schedule Now

The post When God Takes Over appeared first on Rise Coaching.