This project taught me two important lessons.

First, Marie Kondo is one smart cookie. Her concept of organizing by item (books, clothing, etc.) and bringing every single item within that category to one central location for organizing (what has been dubbed “organizing Kondo-style”) is both brilliant and deviously sneaky. In this single step, those of us who have been wooed by her seemingly sweet and innocent demeanor are instantly ambushed as we stand before a mountain of superfluous what-have-you, faced with the sheer volume of what we own. This alone made me consider donating the entire lot to charity, shaving my head and become a monk –to rid myself of an apparent over-attachment to things.

But here’s the surprise…our attachment to things isn’t really about things.

Thankfully, this exercise was part of an assignment we’re doing in Rising Soul this month, which included noticing our thoughts and emotions as we downsized, organized and systematized our spaces and habits. So, as I stopped to notice my resistance to tossing books to the donate bin, I realized something surprising. This feeling of attachment and fear of not having “enough” wasn’t really about the books at all. Clearly, I had more than enough books.  (Trust me. I did the math. If I were to read one book a week, I would not need to visit the public library for thirteen and a half years. Problem? I still think not.)

Having “too much” of something is often attached to a fear of “not enough.”

What then, was I afraid of? Why was I keeping more than I could possibly consume? Ahhh…there it was.  The fear of not enough…knowledge. The fear of missing out. The fear that someday, someone may come to me for help, and I would be unable to help them out of the pool they were drowning in, because I hadn’t read that book yet and I had given it away. And in that moment of realization, I sensed God whisper, “Do you trust me to give you what you need?”  And of course, I do.

This made me wonder: when you hold on to “extra” things you don’t need, what is it that you are fearing? What need are you afraid won’t be provided for? And what do you believe about how your needs are met? Who is your provider?

The second thing I learned is that the belief that we “need” something can actually keep us from what’s available to us.

I have a habit (my husband may find the term “addiction” more appropriate) of going to used book sales on the last day, when they offer “fill a bag for 5 bucks.” Because, well– why buy 3 books you’ve been wanting when you could get those plus another 20 to fill the rest of your bag at the same price?! (I realize this line of thinking led to me standing in my living room surrounded by 706 of my favorite books. No judgement needed.)

Back to my point…. The majority of my collection is non-fiction. (I own only 12 novels, which are easier to read and toss, in my defense…because clearly, I need one.) As an example, I thought I needed every book I had about the brain and its impact on mental health. So, the first time I sorted through my books, I kept almost every one I came across. But when I stepped back and looked at all of the brain books together, I realized three of them were highly recommended, but the rest seemed just average and even outdated. In reality, I was unlikely to read the majority of these, since there will always be new best sellers written.

Because I had so many books on the brain, I wasn’t reading any of them. I’d stare at the assortment, get overwhelmed by the decision and move on to a different category altogether. In the end, I kept the three that I was most excited to read and let go of the rest. I followed that same pattern with each remaining category and at the end of the day, I had eliminated one hundred nine books from my library. (Full disclosure, six of the books had an identical twin among the collection, which means a win-win. I get to keep my copy and some lucky winner at the library book sale will too, following my donation.)

Sometimes in life (as well as in amazing library collections) we have to let go of what we think we need in order to use what we’ve got and make room for what’s coming.

I can think of several things in my past that I held onto tightly, only to find God had something much better for me when I finally let go. This can be true of jobs, relationships, houses, dreams… and surprisingly, books. What are you holding onto that’s keeping you from grabbing hold of what God wants to offer you?

I now have a library that’s organized topically…with only books that I can’t wait to dive into. But just as exciting is the empty space that’s now on the shelves. I’m determined not to fill it with things I don’t need. I’m going to enjoy what I have, knowing that as I read and let go of each book, there will be more knowledge and growth to come.

What are you holding onto?

What fears are keeping you stuck?

Schedule a free consultation with me to peek into your blindspots so we can free up some space for the good things God has planned for you!

Schedule Now

The post 2 Things Maria Kondo Won’t Teach You appeared first on Rise Coaching.

I’ll take great theatrical liberty here, but he basically asks Moses, “What are you thinking? You can’t do this all on your own. You’re going to burn yourself out. Train a few people how to do the things that you’re juggling (and to do them well) and then step back and let them do the job! They can come to you if they have questions or need help with the tasks.”

No intelligent man goes against the advice of his father-in-law, so he put these things all into action and reaped the benefits! Jethro teaches us three lessons in this story. Three things all leaders need to learn how to do are:

1. Be able to recognize, listen to and act on wise counsel.
2. Delegate work and decisions to others.
3. Mentor others to grow as well

Wise Counsel

The first on this list comes easily for me. I actively seek out counsel when I need it and am happy to apply what they teach.  I’m a words girl, and numbers give me migraines.  So, when our financial advisor shoots us an email suggesting some changes, I’m happy to hear her advice. Of course, part of this process is vetting the people you let into that you give your ear to. While it’s not necessary that every person you hire be Christian, it is important that you trust their values and know that they’ll support you in living according to yours.

Delegate Tasks

Step two is where my greatest growth opportunity resides! I admit that when it comes to my professional life, I’m a bit of a perfectionist at heart. (And a work still in progress, thankfully.) This need to please almost always also means being a bit of a control freak.  I admittedly have a hard time letting go of my tasks and entrusting them to someone else. But just as Moses learned, doing it “all” can wear a person out quick! And worn-down, burnt-out humans certainly do not perform at their peak for long.

“We accomplish all that we do through delegation
–either to time or to other people.”
~Stephen R. Covey

I recently spent six months working with two business coaches, evaluating my business model, and making adjustments so that the systems and offerings I have are sustainable and scalable. It didn’t take these two wise women long to point out that I was doing too much. They gave me the assignment of making a list of all the tasks I was doing on a daily, weekly, and monthly basis, and then addressed each of my well-thought-out rationales (AKA excuses and lies I was believing) as to why I was the only person who could do those tasks, and how I could not afford to hire them out.

I’ve since studied the topic while asking myself, “What if delegating tasks was not only possible but was the key to being able to help more women live the lives they were created for?”  I’ve since learned two connected lessons:

Delegating doesn’t always have to cost money. What do you have to offer, and who do you know who offers what you need? How could you barter with someone so you both get something you value? (Since I’d rather be coaching than cleaning, I’d love to find someone to exchange services with!) In addition, it doesn’t have to cost a lot. Hiring a teen to the things that must be done, but aren’t the best use of your time, is a great solution. They make some extra cash, and so do you—because you’re diverting that time to your business or areas that will get you “more bang for your buck” (as grandma used to say!).

Time is money…or money can buy time. Think of this through the lens of seeking out a high ROI (return on investment). If you can make $50/hour doing a “side job” that you enjoy, would you pay someone $20/hr to grocery shop for you while you’re doing what you love?

Mentor Others

Thankfully, the challenge of delegation comes with a gift: the opportunity to mentor others. “Paying it forward” is one of the most enjoyable part of being a leader. (And let’s face it, we’re all leaders in some way!) Whether you’re paying someone to do the work, or training someone through an internship, sharing the lessons you’ve learned and encouraging others to learn & grow is a win-win solution. They gain from your knowledge, you gain from their fresh perspective, but also because the process of delegating and mentoring bring new lessons with them.

Seeking wise counsel, delegating to others and mentoring them along the way becomes an elevating paradigm where we rise up with generations on both sides of us. I’m intrigued by cultures that honor their elders and cultivate cultures of community. By incorporating these three habits into our lives, we experience gains that go beyond the financial.

Application

Here are some things you can consider to 3X your contribution:

What tasks do you do on a daily, weekly, and monthly basis?

Who do you know who does these things well?

How can you learn from that person?

What do you know and have to offer?

Who would benefit from learning those things?

How can you trade services or who could you pay to complete those tasks?

How can you “pay it forward,” to multiply your knowledge and double the work of your hands?

Want help to take a look at the bottle-necks in your systems?

It’s available in many forms! Click below to schedule a free forty-five minute consultation where we’ll take a snapshot of how you’re doing and what support you’d benefit most from. We’ll get you living the life you were created for.

Schedule Now

The post 3 Habits to 3X Your Contribution appeared first on Rise Coaching.

In past years, I’ve said more times than I can count, “I love seeing everyone for the Holidays, but it would be so nice to get to slow down just one year and not be constantly on the run!”  Careful what you wish for, right?  All of the cancellations this year offer us a chance to turn back to what the day is really about.  There’s no longer a need for weeks of preparing the house to be filled with guests, which also means I can cut out hours of baking, decorating, and wrapping.

“You can’t hurt Christmas, (Mr. Mayor)
because it isn’t about the gifts or the contests or the fancy lights.”
— Cindy Lou Who (The Grinch)

So what to do with all this extra time? 

• I’m putting on some music and being selective as I decorate in a minimalistic way.
• Transforming our house into a soft, white, welcoming place to sit in front of the fire. Bright white lights instead of the colored ones…because I need the sparkle, simplicity, and calm that can stay the whole winter.
• Instead of scrolling Amazon for superfluous stocking stuffers, I”m searching for unconventional ways to help people who’ve been hit by the pandemic.

•  I’ll be reading those Christmas novels that I’ve set out every year but never had time for…from underneath a down comforter with our pups curled up beside me.

• Giving thanks for all the blessings God’s provided in years past that I took for granted….large family gatherings, huge buffets filled with every family members’ favorite treat. The fun of watching others open gifts in a round-robin style.  Listening to my daughter and nieces sing acapella afterward. Downtown live mannequin displays and Christmas events that provided the perfect romantic date night with my guy. Next year, I’ll appreciate these things all the more!

Christmas Day will also look different. Without having to hurry through gifts and rush off to family brunch, I’ll be staying in. Sipping coffee with my adult kids and enjoying our own brunch while still in pajamas.

• Playing games and watching Christmas movies with them plus one grand-dog, while drinking hot cocoa by the fire.
• Being “busy” enjoying a little less bustle and a lot less hustle.

“Maybe Christmas (he thought) doesn’t come from a store. Maybe Christmas perhaps means a little bit more.”
~The Grinch

We’ll have to light our own candles as we watch the candlelight church service online this year.  But we’ll also pray together for all those whose health and finances are struggling.

One thing won’t change at all. We’ll pause to remember that Christmas night so long ago when God showed the depths of His love by spilling it onto the world in the form of a baby who would grow to offer us freedom instead of condemnation. Love instead of fear. And a relationship with Him and a God who loves us more than we can possibly get our little heads around.

“Noone should be home alone on Christmas.”
~Cindy Lou Who

Looking for a new tradition this year?  Why not try out one of these?

• Go caroling outside of a nursing home with your small safe and healthy pocket of people to spread the love and cheer.
• Bake a plate of cookies to drop off for the staff who’s working tirelessly to make a hard season jolly for its residents.
• Make extra donations to local charities that are hurting.
• Order curbside pickup from your small-town stores and restaurants that are struggling to stay open.
• Check with a nursing home in your area to see if they’re offering adopt-a-grandparent by Zoom.
• Hold a Christmas Eve Facebook Watch Party to watch your church service with your friends and family.

I’ve found the best way to get out of an emotional slump is to count my blessings or to brighten someone else’s day. So right now, I’m busy doing both.  What will you be doing with all that extra time?

The doors to Rising Soul will be opening soon!

If you’re someone who values the journey of living an abundant life (mentally, spiritually, financial, and relationally) all with Christ at the center of it all, come join an amazing group of like-minded women doing the same! Registration begins in late December and we jump into the first month’s content on January 1st!

Learn more

The post The Unexpected Upside to a COVID Christmas appeared first on Rise Coaching.

She would nod and listen, waiting for them to finish and then would ask, “No….What are you giving for Christmas?”  This always brought looks of confusion and then much thought.  But she said, if she waited for it patiently, their little faces would light up a second time before they started spilling ideas of what they could make for their parents and do for their friends. She said that their excitement for giving equaled their excitement for getting.

This month in Rising Soul, we’re deep-diving into the topics of
gratitude and generosity…

These two things which are tightly intertwined. We’re practicing generosity in unlikely ways and capturing the moments that we want to remember–reflecting the stories of how God blesses us daily.

Acts 20:35 says it’s more blessed to give than to receive. Sociology says so too.  A 2014 study at Notre Dame, involving 2000 people, showed that those who described themselves as “very happy” volunteered an average of 5.8 hours per month, compared to the .6 average of those who self-identified as “unhappy.” The study showed that there was a catch to this happiness…those who fit the category of “very happy” were more than just occasionally generous. Generosity was a way of life for them, and it didn’t just encompass one area —such as finances, but also with time and hospitality.

If you google the benefits of generosity, you’ll get a wonderful overload of lists, studies, and articles. So why then, aren’t more people generous?  Sociologist Christian Smith (who authored the book The Paradox of Generosity, which presents the findings of the above study) says that he believes it’s fear that makes people less generous than we could be, fearing that by giving to others, we would have less and suffer a loss.

Generosity is a barometer of our faith and trust in God.

It’s for this very reason that I say that generosity is a barometer of our faith and trust in God. When you know God as your generous Father and Provider who loves you and takes care of you well, you know that you can’t out-give Him. When we realize that all we have has been given to us by God, and then bless others as a response to being blessed, something happens that goes against the philosophy of this world. It’s like a parent who’s expecting a new baby.  They can’t imagine how they could possibly love another child as much as the one they already have.  And yet, when they meet that new little being, the love they had is not divided by the two children, but instead doubled. Expanded. It grows.

We can’t manipulate God to get what we want.

This isn’t a slot-machine mentality.  God isn’t fooled and the state and intentions of your heart matter to Him.  He loves a cheerful giver. Greed is not part of this equation. He does not provide for us so that we can “store up all our earthly wealth” or live a comfy and luxurious life. So why does He provide for us?

1. It pleases Him and brings Him joy. (Hebrews 13:16)

2. To generate even more gratitude and generosity. (2Corinthians 9:11)

3. To bless others. (2 Corinthians 9:8-11)

The Bible has a lot to say about God taking our “little” and turning it into “a lot.” –Not for our benefit, but to benefit those around us.  With that said, it’s also true that when we bless others, we GET the blessing of that experience.

“The greatest blessing in the whole world is being a blessing.” Jack Hyles

I’m guessing you spend little time thinking about what you’ll get for Christmas, and lots of time planning out what you’ll give.  (Because…well…that’s part of adulting.) But this year, I challenge you to think outside the box. How what can you give besides material things that can be multiplied by God to bless others?  Each year, one of my favorite items on our to do list is is selecting a gift for my parents (who insist they are down-sizing and want nothing!) from the World Vision catalogue.  Did you know you can buy a safe bike ride to school for a girl in high-trafficking countries, or business training for a single mom, or clean drinking water for a community? I get so excited thinking about those people being blessed and I feel blessed by the thought of it!

After four years of French class, I can barely parle français.  But Madame VanderZanden was certainly on to something, and I’m grateful for her lesson.

Give yourself a gift this Christmas that will help you give to others!

Join the Rising Soul membership wait list and get ready to come on board with us when doors open again on January 1st! We focus on sharing our blessings with others on a regular ongoing basis!

Learn more

The post Best French Lesson appeared first on Rise Coaching.

Years ago, when I opened my private practice, I prayed over the name.  I wanted it to point to Christ in an unobtrusive way while sharing the vision of helping women fully embrace who they were created to be.  I brainstormed a list of names: She Rises, Rising Soul, Rising Strong…You get the picture. Lots of Rising happening.

Once I knew I had it, I did all the things.  Applied for the license, registered the names, applied for trademarks, designed my brand, printed signs, yada yada.  I never looked back.

Until I received a call one day from the director of a very LARGE and well-established company in my town.  The woman said she was “just doing a courtesy call” to let me know that they had decided to rebrand, and ironically (insert nervous laughter) the name they had selected….was the same as mine.

I didn’t say much at first (mostly because it’s hard to talk with your heart caught in your throat), but once I gathered myself, I said I didn’t understand.  I politely explained that I’d done all the things.  Step one of registering a company is, after all, researching to be certain the name wasn’t already being used.

She told me that she could understand my “concerns” but that while they hadn’t registered the name yet, they had printed thousands of flyers that would be handed out at the upcoming NFL game in two weeks. (Did I mentioned they were financially backed by this team?)

We agreed to talk again the following week, and I felt nauseous as I hung up and got very little sleep that night. Instead, I seeped in my thoughts:

“This is awful.”

“They can’t do this.”

“There’s no way I can go up against a company this big.”

“I’ll never win.”

The problem with fear and attempting to control things is that

negative emotions never drive positive action or gain positive results. 

The next morning, a coworker came to me and shyly told me she felt weird sharing, but that when she read her devotions that morning, she felt strongly that she was to share it with me, but didn’t know why.  It was the story of Gideon.  Know the story? He had a small army and a large battle to fight.  I imagine him pausing to remove his heart from his throat before asking God how he could possibly overcome his circumstances.

That night, I curled up with my Bible & a cup of tea and got a mental makeover. Not only did God tell Gideon He’d win the battle for him, He actually increased the challenge so Gideon couldn’t question whether it was God‘s “impossible” win.  I laughed out loud when I read the word God used to send him off “ARISE”.  I felt an assurance settle over me that night and in the week that followed.

My thoughts turned from victim to victor. The old crippling thoughts were replaced with

“God’s got this.”

“I’m going to see Him at work here.”

“I’m not alone.”

“He’s a God of the possible.”

“All things are possible with Him.”

Sure I had moments where my pulse quickened and the old thoughts popped up.  But I ran back to the Lord each time, and found belief again.  (And I swear every day’s devotions that week had the Word “Rise” or “Arise” in it!)

I did more homework in preparation, trusting in what God had shown me.  When I answered the phone a week later, I was surprised to hear not just the director announce herself, but an additional five voices including their attorney.  For thirty minutes, he attempted to intimidate me.  I calmly stated that while I empathized with their predicament, the state prohibits companies from using the names of businesses already established in the same city and/or industry because it causes confusion for potential clients.  I explained that as a sole-proprietor, I’d spent a lot of time, energy & resources selecting and registering my name.  And then I politely concluded that it was for all of those reasons that I ask that they continue searching for a new name that was not already registered by an existing business.

The silence was palpable.  They thanked me for my time and ended the call.  Although they gave me no indication of their decision, I felt at peace.  Two months later, I ran into a therapist who works for their business and learned that they returned to the drawing board and had registered a new name.  One which was very different than mine.

So often, we try to fight our battles alone, failing to draw on God’s strength that’s available to us all.  We worry about our
circumstances and ruminate on all the possible bad outcomes.  As a result, we either get stuck in inaction, or we jump blindly into action-attempting to beat the odds. But the reality is that negative emotions never create positive actions or results. 

The next time you’re up against an army, remember who’s leading yours.  Take the time to get in the right headspace before taking action, to ensure that your actions are coming from the right emotion

Acting in fear will create a mess.  Acting in belief brings new confidence.  Here’s what my aligned model looked like (thanks to that friend who shared her heart when she felt God pressing her to!)

Circumstance: Local firm is planning to market using my business name

Thought: “God’s won bigger battles; He’s got this.”

Feeling: Confident (in Him!)

Action: Pray, research, show up kindly & assertively

Result: I let God take over and get to see Him at work.

(My brain then takes this result as “proof” of my original thought, strengthening my belief that God is bigger than anything that comes up against me.)

The next time you’re up against an army, remember who’s leading yours.  Take the time to get in the right headspace before taking action, to ensure that your actions are coming from the right emotion

Need a mental makeover?

If you’re tired of worrying and overthinking things, I can help you with that! Schedule a free, no-obligation consultation call with me and I’ll show you how coaching can help you step into the life you were created for.

Schedule Now

The post When God Takes Over appeared first on Rise Coaching.

As I type this message, my calendar says that the first day of spring is just two weeks away.  …And also, there are gigantic snowflakes falling outside my window.  So please humor me while I share a few lines from my favorite Christmas movie.  Imagine Kris Kringle having a conversation with a very serious little Susan:

“You’ve heard of the British Nation and the French Nation? Well, this is the Imagination. And once you get there you can do almost anything you want.”

Doesn’t it just make you want to head there for spring break?!  It reminds me of my favorite ride at Disney World, The Journey Into the Imagination–with its little purple dragon guide, “Figment”.

The imagination is one of the greatest gifts God gave us.

He created us in His image, and allows us to imagine things in our brain, and then create them in the world.

Look at all the man-made creations surrounding you right now.

They all started in someone’s imagination.

Someone thought them up and then created them in real life.

This is how human imagination was intended to be.

But (as with other gifts God’s given us) we often misuse this gift.

We think of all the bad things that could happen.

We imagine what someone else is thinking, feeling or doing.

We imagine and worry about things going wrong.

And although these things could come true in “real life”, imagining them isn’t useful.

Remember, there is power in thought and imagination.

It can be used for good or bad.

The imagination can be used one of two ways:

1. To better ourselves and the world around us.
2. To create the negative in our life (Think self-fulfilling prophecy).

When we imagine the worst, we lose trust in our Creator.  We fail to believe that He is still in control and with us. 

Instead, just imagine how this may be happening for you, and think of all the ways God is working your current circumstances together for good!

Tired of Imagining the Worst?

If you’re tired of being stuck in worry and negative thinking,

I can help! Schedule a free, no-obligation consultation call with me and I’ll show you how coaching can help you stop worrying and start living.

Schedule Now

The post How Your Imagination Works For or Against You appeared first on Rise Coaching.